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#1 Morgoba

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Posted 27 April 2014 - 03:26 PM

the first draft for the main chracter of my manga would like some critique please.

 

http://postimg.org/image/so9gweoxl/



#2 Clyde

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Posted 27 April 2014 - 04:05 PM

The hair and sword are the problem.

Edited by Clyde, 27 April 2014 - 04:06 PM.

13121301403036501.png

 

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#3 ZCOverload

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Posted 27 April 2014 - 10:18 PM

Hair's fine. Sword looks a bit wonky. The curve just seems unnatural.


DbR5r2F.jpg?1


#4 Morgoba

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Posted 28 April 2014 - 06:13 AM

yeah the sword does look unnaturaly wonky, but I did rush this one a bit as I just wanted to put down my idea on paper as quickly as possible, it'd look much straighter were I taking my time with it but again it's a first draft, things will change haha, he also looks slightly older than he's meant to be I need to work on his proportions make him look more like a teen.



#5 ZCOverload

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Posted 28 April 2014 - 10:54 AM

...I almost want you to hang onto that older design. It doesn't look bad for a character who could, say, be in his upper-30's or lower-40's.


DbR5r2F.jpg?1


#6 Clyde

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Posted 28 April 2014 - 02:59 PM

I really don't feel the hair. With all the "spikes" it feels corny and wannabe "badass". The sword's curve, as already said, doesn't look very good. 

 

Just those two things and the rest is cool.


13121301403036501.png

 

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#7 steamjunkie

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Posted 29 April 2014 - 02:16 AM

Hey,

 

As we are both aspiring artists I figured instead of explaining things I don't like, I would just sketch up a version that I felt would be more... of the direction that I would go with the character.

 

 

Spoiler ZANE "SteamJunkie Version

 

The "big collar" with long hair don't really go together too well, so I shortened it a bit.

 

AND I added a scar to his face for a little individuality.


Edited by steamjunkie, 29 April 2014 - 02:17 AM.

wo5u8.jpg


#8 Morgoba

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Posted 29 April 2014 - 12:00 PM

...I almost want you to hang onto that older design. It doesn't look bad for a character who could, say, be in his upper-30's or lower-40's.

true I may modify it a bit and keep it for a side character.

 

Hey,

 

As we are both aspiring artists I figured instead of explaining things I don't like, I would just sketch up a version that I felt would be more... of the direction that I would go with the character.

 

 

Spoiler ZANE "SteamJunkie Version

 

The "big collar" with long hair don't really go together too well, so I shortened it a bit.

 

AND I added a scar to his face for a little individuality.

I may get an idea or two from this nice drawing btw. either way I made a different design rthat looks more like a teen.

 

here it is I'll need to make the sword seperatily first as it makes it easier to get the curve right.

http://postimg.org/image/jtavnl2y7/

 

also sorry for the noob question but how do i put images in spoiler tags



#9 steamjunkie

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Posted 29 April 2014 - 12:47 PM



I may get an idea or two from this nice drawing btw. either way I made a different design rthat looks more like a teen.

 

here it is I'll need to make the sword seperatily first as it makes it easier to get the curve right.

http://postimg.org/image/jtavnl2y7/

 

also sorry for the noob question but how do i put images in spoiler tags

 

Please... steal away. Sorry for invading your thread, I just get really excited about helping with character design.

 

Okay here is a sketch I did based on your newest drawing. Since he's a definite teenager now:

 

Spoiler Zane Ver. 2

 

It's not a stupid question...

 

You want to click the Special BBCode button at the top (to the left of "Font"). Then scroll down to "Spoiler". Enter text accordingly. 


wo5u8.jpg


#10 ZCOverload

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Posted 29 April 2014 - 01:06 PM

Step 1: Scroll to the bottom of the postimg.org page. Click on Show Codes.

 

Step 2: Copy the Direct Link.

 

Step 3: Follow steamjunkie's instructions.

 

Step 4: Click inside the spoiler tags and then click the photo icon. (Directly underneath the emoticon and font color buttons.)

 

Step 5: Paste direct link in there.

 

Output:

 

Spoiler


DbR5r2F.jpg?1


#11 Morgoba

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Posted 29 April 2014 - 01:17 PM

thanks for the instructions guys.

 

 

Please... steal away. Sorry for invading your thread, I just get really excited about helping with character design.

 

Okay here is a sketch I did based on your newest drawing. Since he's a definite teenager now:

 

 

It's not a stupid question...

 

You want to click the Special BBCode button at the top (to the left of "Font"). Then scroll down to "Spoiler". Enter text accordingly. 

hmm I don't like this one very much for some reason, looks too kidish in yours, still amazing art though.

 

I'm happy with the face and proportions just need to work on the outfit now haha, and the sword, which I think will be the biggest challenge.



#12 CloudDreamer7

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Posted 29 April 2014 - 06:48 PM

Step 1: Scroll to the bottom of the postimg.org page. Click on Show Codes.
 
Step 2: Copy the Direct Link.
 
Step 3: Follow steamjunkie's instructions.
 
Step 4: Click inside the spoiler tags and then click the photo icon. (Directly underneath the emoticon and font color buttons.)
 
Step 5: Paste direct link in there.

or he can simply type [spoiler][img]image.jpg[/_img][/_spoiler]

i had to add the underscore so that the code appears; its not needed for this to work.
 
on the topic, i think you need to work a bit on the anatomy and poses of your subjects. both of these pictures even though they lack any sort of shadowing/coloring etc look really stiff and flat. also you may want to check some references on how clothes fall on the human body.
i am not going to comment on the conceptual design as i dont know anything about the story etc, so anything i d say might end up being useless.
for instance, see if you can find where the first picture is lacking compared to this very similar pose:
medieval_cloud_strife_by_kenji893-d6cqrv
 
creating characters is loads of fun but i would also suggest to work on improving more basic aspects of how to draw a human like muscle structure, hands, feet, perspective etc before moving on to details. That basically means to use references of either real people or professional artists and copy the basic move; then you can apply your own hero's characteristics on it. Over time, you learn how to "draw" each position and you dont require a reference anymore; and because you basically draw from memory you incorporate your own elements and you basically create your style.


Edited by CloudDreamer7, 29 April 2014 - 06:55 PM.

w7WYqCl.gif

 

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#13 DarkNemesis

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Posted 29 April 2014 - 09:22 PM

I think they're both good first drafts. But the only issue that they're kind of.... one dimensional. Everything seems to be connected to each other. Like the clothes are connected to the person instead of the clothes hanging off the person. I don't think I'm explaining this very well....


Edited by DarkNemesis, 29 April 2014 - 09:23 PM.

Kubo's announcement will be his new work will be called Tide; not as strong as bleach but does its trolling in a more colorful fashion! - arcane_chaos

Spoiler

#14 Morgoba

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Posted 30 April 2014 - 09:01 AM

or he can simply type [spoiler][img]image.jpg[/_img][/_spoiler]

i had to add the underscore so that the code appears; its not needed for this to work.
 
on the topic, i think you need to work a bit on the anatomy and poses of your subjects. both of these pictures even though they lack any sort of shadowing/coloring etc look really stiff and flat. also you may want to check some references on how clothes fall on the human body.
i am not going to comment on the conceptual design as i dont know anything about the story etc, so anything i d say might end up being useless.
for instance, see if you can find where the first picture is lacking compared to this very similar pose:
http://th02.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/i/20...
 
creating characters is loads of fun but i would also suggest to work on improving more basic aspects of how to draw a human like muscle structure, hands, feet, perspective etc before moving on to details. That basically means to use references of either real people or professional artists and copy the basic move; then you can apply your own hero's characteristics on it. Over time, you learn how to "draw" each position and you dont require a reference anymore; and because you basically draw from memory you incorporate your own elements and you basically create your style.

As much as I hate to admit it this is exactly right, will just have to keep at it, was never very good with clothes for some reason haha.

 

 

I think they're both good first drafts. But the only issue that they're kind of.... one dimensional. Everything seems to be connected to each other. Like the clothes are connected to the person instead of the clothes hanging off the person. I don't think I'm explaining this very well....

Don't worry I understood what you meant.



#15 Morgoba

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Posted 24 June 2014 - 10:56 AM

Spoiler

 

 

After a while I decided to make another draft for my character


Edited by Morgoba, 24 June 2014 - 10:57 AM.


#16 steamjunkie

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Posted 27 June 2014 - 03:37 AM

Hey there,

 

It's me again. Here to annoy you HAHAHA

 

Seriously though, I did another sketch of your character based on the most recent drawing. I think I have a better grasp on his age now.

 

Spoiler Zane Ver. 3


wo5u8.jpg


#17 DarkNemesis

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Posted 28 June 2014 - 03:04 AM


 
 
After a while I decided to make another draft for my character

I like it. But his irises seem a bit too big.

Kubo's announcement will be his new work will be called Tide; not as strong as bleach but does its trolling in a more colorful fashion! - arcane_chaos

Spoiler

#18 Morgoba

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Posted 28 June 2014 - 03:34 PM

Thank you for the replies, again really good drawing SteamJunkie and I realised how to improve my own from yours so thanks a lot bud, DarkNemesis I see what you mean I'll post another one after fixing that.


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#19 Jin604

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Posted 15 September 2014 - 05:40 PM

Keep workin on the basics and you will be just fine. Like anatomy, detail and figuring out a style that is unique and works for you. Gonna take time but to be blunt.. if you wanna get your stuff to a quality you will like its gonna take a while just like everyone else.



#20 _Manga_Artist_Benny-San_

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Posted 08 January 2016 - 05:09 AM

I really don't feel the hair. With all the "spikes" it feels corny and wannabe "badass". The sword's curve, as already said, doesn't look very good. 

 

Just those two things and the rest is cool.

exactly, try smething a bit more tame and try a base, i can se your not really using a base






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