Jump to content


Photo

[Voting] Poetry Contest #15


This topic has been archived. This means that you cannot reply to this topic.
12 replies to this topic

Poll: Poetry Contest #15 (13 member(s) have cast votes)

Which is the best?

  1. Petite Fleur - butts (2 votes [15.38%] - View)

    Percentage of vote: 15.38%

  2. taichi - Nothing to lose? (0 votes [0.00%])

    Percentage of vote: 0.00%

  3. Oben - About a Certain Idea of Fun (0 votes [0.00%])

    Percentage of vote: 0.00%

  4. ZCOverload - Ode to OMF (1 votes [7.69%] - View)

    Percentage of vote: 7.69%

  5. Sloan - My Entry (0 votes [0.00%])

    Percentage of vote: 0.00%

  6. timiee - The Cake is a Lie (4 votes [30.77%] - View)

    Percentage of vote: 30.77%

  7. YoWid - Comedy (5 votes [38.46%] - View)

    Percentage of vote: 38.46%

  8. Sanji - The Heart (1 votes [7.69%] - View)

    Percentage of vote: 7.69%

Vote Guests cannot vote

#1 Oben

Oben

    Disneyland was an Inside Job

  • Blessed by Uglypuff
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 11,549 posts

User's Awards

         2   

Posted 21 July 2014 - 12:37 PM

Welcome to the Voting for Poetry Contest #15!
The theme was "Comedy".
 
The poll should be self-explanatory. Please vote objectively, and fair.
You are not allowed to vote for yourself.
 
Please also post your opinions/criticism in the thread.
 
Here are the odd entries for this awkward round:
 
 


Spoiler butts

 

Spoiler Nothing to lose?

 

Spoiler About a Certain Idea of Fun

  

Spoiler Ode to OMF

 

Spoiler My entry

 

Spoiler The Cake is a Lie

  

Spoiler Comedy

  

Spoiler The Heart

 
 
Voting closes one week from now (28th of July)


Edited by Oben, 21 July 2014 - 12:39 PM.


#2 Metal Heart

Metal Heart

    Rock Star

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 2,304 posts

User's Awards

3      

Posted 21 July 2014 - 02:20 PM

timiee has someone dying, Zero calls us all idiots but Peti actually made me chuckle, my vote is for her.


Thank you for taking the time to read this signature. This signature loves you.

 

 

If anyone is in the mood for some Smash Bros 3DS my friend code is 1118-0339-4355.

 

Spoiler I am writing stuff

#3 ZCOverload

ZCOverload

    Lucina Main

  • Blessed by Uglypuff
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 12,394 posts

User's Awards

3       2    4   

Posted 21 July 2014 - 02:52 PM

timiee has someone dying, Zero calls us all idiots but Peti actually made me chuckle, my vote is for her.

 

I voted Petite, yeah.


MAKE | TOTAL | DESTROY

Leu14ht.gif


#4 Sanji

Sanji

    Mr. Prince

  • Blessed by Uglypuff
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 12,559 posts

Posted 21 July 2014 - 03:22 PM

Voted YoWid, seems the best entry to me. Just want to point out that the theme is "Comedy", humor while approaching the subject should be nothing but a choice.


xGzqj0x.gif

 

Official member of the Killer Kick Course Squad


#5 YoWid

YoWid

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,595 posts

User's Awards

     

Posted 21 July 2014 - 05:50 PM

In the original story from Portal, the cake indeed *is* a lie, so, no cake. In timiee's poem, there is a cake, but it also *is* no cake (in its traditional sense). The clever play on paradox and the punchline (though predictable in its build-up) got me.


Spoiler Music by Gazillions

 

 

another story for another day

 


#6 Défectueux

Défectueux

    Rock Star

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 634 posts

Posted 21 July 2014 - 08:45 PM

I like timiee's twist on the overdone The Cake Is A Lie joke. It made me giggle.

#7 timiee

timiee

    Moe

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 7 posts

User's Awards

     

Posted 21 July 2014 - 11:56 PM

timiee has someone dying, Zero calls us all idiots but Peti actually made me chuckle, my vote is for her.

Just to clarify, the person in my poem didn't die. His skin literally turned purple, she was pranking him back for messing with her cakes. 



#8 YoWid

YoWid

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,595 posts

User's Awards

     

Posted 22 July 2014 - 06:53 AM


Just to clarify, the person in my poem didn't die. His skin literally turned purple, she was pranking him back for messing with her cakes. 

 

I feel it'd be great if Larry actually dies--it'd make some nice black comedy there; but that's just me.  :^_^:  still like the paradox, though.


Spoiler Music by Gazillions

 

 

another story for another day

 


#9 timiee

timiee

    Moe

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 7 posts

User's Awards

     

Posted 22 July 2014 - 02:35 PM

I feel it'd be great if Larry actually dies--it'd make some nice black comedy there; but that's just me. :^_^: still like the paradox, though.


Lol I considered it because I also enjoy dark humor. But I didn't want to make it so dark so I tried to stick to the lightness of comedy. And thank you :)

#10 Metal Heart

Metal Heart

    Rock Star

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 2,304 posts

User's Awards

3      

Posted 22 July 2014 - 03:08 PM

I thought he died because he got poisoned or something, oh well.


Thank you for taking the time to read this signature. This signature loves you.

 

 

If anyone is in the mood for some Smash Bros 3DS my friend code is 1118-0339-4355.

 

Spoiler I am writing stuff

#11 Mura

Mura

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 65 posts

Posted 23 July 2014 - 04:28 AM

Petite Fleur - I like the simplicity and monorhyme. the lines get longer - it visually produces a stairway, which shows a progression in the boys' depravity. the last line might then be anticipated to paint the boys as disgustingly perverse, call back to the opening line, or come completely from nowhere. while the last line does tie back to the opening line, it also somewhat lacks impact. I would have liked a twist of some sort - maybe the boys lust after their own butts as reflect in the mirror, the boys always use 'buts' as a form of justification for their actions, or the narrator actually loves these butt-loving boys. Then again, you're the author, not me. 

 

taichi - I love how the ending words (loose, intensity, lose) are associated with sex, which makes the very last word especially suitable. (Maybe my mind has become defiled to think this.) I think some more lines that extend the trend (with words like blood, hard, etc) could strengthen the poem, but too many additional lines could weaken the poem instead.

 

Oben - The effort spent to construct a poem set in couplet rhyme scheme is commendable. However, end-rhyming with line 13 caused line 14 seem a little forced and convoluted. 'About a Certain Idea of Fun' does state some truths of comedy, though: 'dark comedy' is very much a thing. furthermore, audacity and courage play a fairly big role in some comedic contexts. The concluding couplet seemingly embodies this notion of audacity: the bit about 'a d-drunken Irishman falling into a lough' is unexpected, hence unexpectedly funny.

 

ZCOverload - Some playful disses can be quite humorous if done right, which I think it was. I'm not a fan of this diverse rhyme scheme, though: AAAABBCCDEEE, if perfect-rhyme sticklers let the first six lines slide. I'm used to set rhyme schemes and find them more pleasing to both the eye and the ear. Maybe it was meant to demonstrate the chaotic and unpredictable situation at OMF, so there's that. Even so, there is one thing I do like about the rhyme scheme, though. I don't know if this was intended, but having 'manga' be the only end-word that does not rhyme emphasizes it; fittingly, OMF is supposed to be a forum for manga/anime. However, manga discussion at OMF has been left to a pathetic state. now, like other similar forums, people either want to talk about what's popular and mainstream or engage in conversations and activities separate from the specific, supposedly unifying interest of the particular forum.

 

Sloan - The uncomfortable situations associated with the rugged outdoors can provide good humor. Your poem reads a little like a city dweller who is making excuses for his clumsiness, which is a bit funny. I had to look hard to find a meaning, assuming that your poem is hiding one. A well-chosen title would have really helped bring your poem together, in my opinion.

 

timiee - I enjoyed the last line - your poem, 'The Cake is a Lie,' is basically a story pun, or feghoot, but as a poem. The rhyme scheme somewhat works to your advantage here: two stanzas of the off-kilter ABCB / DEFE rhyme scheme disorientates the reader. however, the clear-cut GGHH / IIJJ couplet rhyme scheme of stanzas three and four is more familiar and hints at what Dora will do - correspondingly, the meme used in the last line is well-known. The line about Larry's skin turning purple could be made clearer. Also, the title could be changed to something else, to keep the last line slightly harder to guess.

 

YoWid - A rather deep poem about the many forms of comedy and how it is form of refuge for some who are suffering. The rhyme scheme is utilized well here: stanzas one and three, about cut-and-dry statements of both facts (stanza 1, 3) and, subtly, the narrator's thoughts on the purpose of comedy (stanza 3), are in couplet rhyme scheme. Meanwhile, the second stanza, which incorporates public opinion and the narrator's opinions, is set to alternate rhyme scheme. The second stanza makes heavy use of repetition (a say, b say, c say, d say), which is, debatably, a underused technique. I guess one downside is that it isn't a very funny poem. :c

 

Sanji - Kubo's unique tendencies as a mangaka are funny, in a rage-inducing way. I smiled, for sure. It is jarring, for me, to see the rhyming suddenly stop in the middle of the second stanza. The last two stanzas are a little repetitive and the last line could be reworked, but this is the funniest poem, to me.

 

 

Ultimately, I voted for YoWid - 'Comedy' provides some good food for thought. As an aside, the seriousness of the poem, when contrasted against the other poems, makes it slightly funny, as well.



#12 taichi

taichi

    Wizard

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 4,766 posts

Posted 24 July 2014 - 12:36 PM

 

taichi - I love how the ending words (loose, intensity, lose) are associated with sex, which makes the very last word especially suitable. (Maybe my mind has become defiled to think this.) I think some more lines that extend the trend (with words like blood, hard, etc) could strengthen the poem, but too many additional lines could weaken the poem instead.

 

I actually picked those words with that intention. Never thought someone would actually catch that D: I suppose my first poem ever is somewhat of a success. :D



Flatlord%20Misuzu.gif


#13 Oben

Oben

    Disneyland was an Inside Job

  • Blessed by Uglypuff
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 11,549 posts

User's Awards

         2   

Posted 28 July 2014 - 01:24 PM

Voting is closed.

 

YoWid has won Contest #15.

 

On the places two and three, there follow timiee and Petite Fleur, respectively.

 

The next contest will be up soon.