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[Voting] Poetry Contest #19


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Poll: Poetry Contest #19 (10 member(s) have cast votes)

Which is the best?

  1. Nmaan - Choice (0 votes [0.00%])

    Percentage of vote: 0.00%

  2. KLGChaos - The Waterfall (4 votes [40.00%] - View)

    Percentage of vote: 40.00%

  3. Sanji - [Untitled] (2 votes [20.00%] - View)

    Percentage of vote: 20.00%

  4. YoWid - Crimson King (0 votes [0.00%])

    Percentage of vote: 0.00%

  5. Mura - A G A P (2 votes [20.00%] - View)

    Percentage of vote: 20.00%

  6. hubris - Causal Determinism (1 votes [10.00%] - View)

    Percentage of vote: 10.00%

  7. Oben - The Bill (1 votes [10.00%] - View)

    Percentage of vote: 10.00%

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#1 Oben

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Posted 26 October 2014 - 05:16 PM

Welcome to the Voting for Poetry Contest #19!
The theme was "Choices".
 
The poll should be self-explanatory. Please vote objectively, and fair.
You are not allowed to vote for yourself.
 
Please also post your opinions/criticism in the thread.
 
Here are the entries for this round:
 
 


Spoiler Choice

 

Spoiler The Waterfall

 

Spoiler

 

Spoiler Crimson King

 

Spoiler A G A P

 

Spoiler Causal Determinism

 

Spoiler The Bill


Voting closes one week from now, on the 2nd of November


Edited by Oben, 26 October 2014 - 06:02 PM.


#2 mantisstalker

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Posted 01 November 2014 - 05:45 AM

Sanji, you were so close to winning me over but I'm afraid that your rhythm was horribly thrown off at times, such as the lines ending with 'before' then 'cold'. Every line before that fit together to make a beautiful melody, and with a little work it would have been perfect.

 

Also Oben, you came very close but the obscene image Chaos painted ended up attracting my attention the most. 


xwj6hphfvwez_zps37695cdc.png

Manty is a being of Chaos afterall. It was only natural he'd confuse you.

 


#3 azer_moli

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Posted 01 November 2014 - 08:40 AM

Sanji, you were so close to winning me over but I'm afraid that your rhythm was horribly thrown off at times, such as the lines ending with 'before' then 'cold'. Every line before that fit together to make a beautiful melody, and with a little work it would have been perfect.

 

Also Oben, you came very close but the obscene image Chaos painted ended up attracting my attention the most. 

 

Same here. 

 

With the first six verses of Sanji's poem, I felt like it would be a very good, but then it kinda crumbled afterwards. 

 

And I enjoyed reading Oben's and KLGChaos's poems equally, but "The Waterfall" suggested more things in my mind, and that's how I chose… 



#4 YoWid

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Posted 01 November 2014 - 08:54 AM

I love @Sanji 's because it's Ban from Nanatsu no Taizai Xd

 

..and I like his poem because it captures the dynamics of interpersonal relationship (and the falling-out of which) quite nicely--also, it's got the take on the fallibility of humans and the efforts taken (or not) to make a reconcilliation of sort (or, otherwise, quiet resignation and acceptance of the imperfections in the relationship).

 

The last verse's rhythm might seem to be cluttered and dragging, but since it's a free verse, I think it can be forgiven Xd 


Spoiler Music by Gazillions

 

 

another story for another day

 


#5 hubris

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Posted 01 November 2014 - 11:08 AM

Quiet a few that I really liked, very difficult choice :P

 

Great use of assonance, rhymes and slant rhymes in The Waterfall, some very good concrete imagery too, overall has a real musical quality to it. If I was to nitpick I'd say the phrase "birds and bees" jarred me a little, as a rule I try to avoid cliches.

 

A G A P was probably my favorite, loved the extended metaphor. Considering the subject matter, the sonnet-esque structure really worked for me. The second stanza does really well in evoking a warm and fuzzy feeling with fluffy language ("soft pima cotton" "melt my heart"), which gives the rough language ("grind wore you down") at the turn that little bit more impact. Really liked it, hits very close to some familiar and relatable territory... But I couldn't find any relevance in it to the theme :/ so couldn't bring myself to vote for it.

 

Very clever slant rhymes throughout in Sanji's, also there is something so satisfying in the lines "All words that lovers love to hear" and "Perfect example of an imperfect world". Again, this one has great cadence, I found a real musicality when I read it aloud. However, I also found myself craving some sort of structure, in the words of T.S. Elliot "No verse is free". The sporadic rhymes and stanza lengths threw me off.

 

Also really really liked The Bill. God damn, Perfect rhymes, ABAB rhyme scheme, 5 quatrains, each line with roughly the same amount of syllables. Really well crafted. Which is even more impressive considering how coherent the narrative is. I find clearly saying what I want to say difficult when using a rigorous structure. One minor criticism, I didn't like the exclamation point after alas. It tasted overly-dramatic and imo it doesn't really add much to the poem.

 

So, all that considered I'm going with The Bill


Edited by hubris, 01 November 2014 - 11:18 AM.

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#6 Oben

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Posted 02 November 2014 - 05:14 PM

Voting is over!

 

KLGChaos won (again), keeping their victory rate of 100%.

On the second place tie Mura and Sanji.

 

The next contest will open once KLG has picked a new theme.



#7 Sanji

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Posted 03 November 2014 - 12:02 AM

Congratulations to the winner ! And good job everyone, was a pleasure reading all the entries. :^_^:


Edited by Sanji, 03 November 2014 - 12:03 AM.

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#8 Oben

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Posted 03 November 2014 - 05:24 AM

New round is up.