Jump to content


Photo

Dead+Heart


  • Please log in to reply
131 replies to this topic

#41 punk

punk

    Samurai

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 151 posts
  • Locationdrifting among the clouds

Posted 07 December 2014 - 09:14 PM

The bio can be anything like how in a sbs the author reveals random facts food preferences, fighting style info lol, age, anything it doesn't really matter just to give us a little bit more of a feel for the characters or there universe even tho it will happen when the story gets more in-depth. And thanks for the correct pronunciation I was calling it as sane like insane
  • TheLastPierrot likes this

 jrflswa5SJ1ax.jpg


#42 steamjunkie

steamjunkie

    Exorcist

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 242 posts
  • LocationThe Moon

Posted 08 December 2014 - 04:40 AM

Hahaha, awesome! Really nice drawing, one more fanart for me to look at all day ^^ !
Sane looks really cute haha ( later I will add on my facebook like the other one ok?mlinking to your dA like the other one!)

Wednesday is a good idea, I guess I may try both on diferent date So!


Also, nice! you read bleak! What did you think??

 

Thanks a lot! It's no problem. 

 

Bleak was interesting. I was so0oOo hoping that AF's little squigglestm turned into floating monsters (like in my fanart).

 

Rec's thingystm look pretty abnormal (and strong) already, so I wanted AF to get some POWA!! 

 

The comedy felt a little flat, but I'm also the type of person who would rather read Shonen than Seinen despite being an adult, so I might be a bit childish anyway.

 

I think you did an excellent job!  :D

 

 

So far loving both bleak and dead+hearts, can we get a little tiny character bio just to fill in the space between now and when you release the chapters could be even just one, so we get a little more info on the characters and the world even if it's for bleak that's cool. If you do decide on bi weekly 10-15 pages a chapter aren't a prob and would more than keep us reading. Really looking forward to seeing the mummy and zombie in action tho.

Offtopic
@steamjunkie do you have any mangas or one shots your art is crazy good, willing to read any material you have

 

Thanks for the compliment, but I haven't made anything yet. I'm kinda at the point where I'm still not confident enough in my drawing ability.  :(


  • TheLastPierrot and punk like this

wo5u8.jpg


#43 TheLastPierrot

TheLastPierrot

    Rock Star

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,126 posts

Posted 08 December 2014 - 05:45 PM

Thanks a lot! It's no problem. 

 

Bleak was interesting. I was so0oOo hoping that AF's little squigglestm turned into floating monsters (like in my fanart).

 

Rec's thingystm look pretty abnormal (and strong) already, so I wanted AF to get some POWA!! 

 

The comedy felt a little flat, but I'm also the type of person who would rather read Shonen than Seinen despite being an adult, so I might be a bit childish anyway.

 

I think you did an excellent job!  :D

 

 

 

Thanks for the compliment, but I haven't made anything yet. I'm kinda at the point where I'm still not confident enough in my drawing ability.  :(

hahaha, There`s certainly more power to the little things than I`ve showed, I barely started scratching the surface :D Ive already the first "mini intro arc" all written down, unfortunately still in novel form. But I can tell your curiosity about the things may be a bit satisfied in the next 4 chapters or so.

feel free to criticise the comedy more in depth, what bothered you? Sometimes the jokes sound better in my head than when i draw them...Also much of the comedy is in AF`s monologues in my opinion.


Btw, in my experience I can say that the better way you can get better at drawing comics is drawing comics xD after a bunch of fails it will certanly make you improve. I draw 2 attempts at a one shot before Bleak, then I decided to focused on writing the stories before drawing. Then I draw 2 attempts at Bleak first chapter, the second one I decided it was bad and had to redo it at page 40 something xD . Finally I drew TheLastPierrot which I consider to be my first good story, after that I drew Bleak first chapter, and the quality just keeps naturally improving with your experience if you keep trying to improve.

Because you see, even if you are an awesome illustrator it wont necessarily make you good at drawing a page because that requires a story teller skill combined with your artwork.


check my facebook page for updates: https://www.facebook...heDreamCatcherz

or my twitter: https://twitter.com/TheLastPierrot


#44 TheLastPierrot

TheLastPierrot

    Rock Star

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,126 posts

Posted 09 December 2014 - 04:30 PM

just feel like sharing a page i just finished (well, still have to finish the screentones and text)

10830865_932495216762483_116817990144147

 

I cant wait to get to the fight scenes ^^


 

page also on my facebook btw: https://www.facebook...?type=1
sharing or liking it would maybe help spreading my series around!


  • azer_moli, punk, steamjunkie and 1 other like this

check my facebook page for updates: https://www.facebook...heDreamCatcherz

or my twitter: https://twitter.com/TheLastPierrot


#45 punk

punk

    Samurai

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 151 posts
  • Locationdrifting among the clouds

Posted 09 December 2014 - 07:17 PM

@steamjunkie you should be over confident in your work if I could draw even half as good as you I would show off every day lol, @TheLastPierrot no one likes a tease lol we can't wait either so hurry
 
He looks abit like the thundercats guy
  • TheLastPierrot likes this

 jrflswa5SJ1ax.jpg


#46 TheLastPierrot

TheLastPierrot

    Rock Star

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,126 posts

Posted 09 December 2014 - 07:28 PM

@punk

 

Thanks! Im trying to do it faster and faster!

Anyway I was thinking about how could I spread the word on the first chapter when its out? because since Im an indie I dont have any publisher behind me to advertise it...

I was thinking that maybe a reviewer on youtube may give it a shoutout for the subscribers if he likes the chapter...?

Im kinda afraid because it will be really depressive if after all the work for the first chapter I still dont have decent number of readers interested in the story...


Edited by TheLastPierrot, 09 December 2014 - 07:28 PM.

check my facebook page for updates: https://www.facebook...heDreamCatcherz

or my twitter: https://twitter.com/TheLastPierrot


#47 punk

punk

    Samurai

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 151 posts
  • Locationdrifting among the clouds

Posted 09 December 2014 - 08:11 PM

I've already shown it to my brother and work mates, yea a youtube reviewer would be a great help isn't there a way to also get recommended on one manga forums?
  • TheLastPierrot likes this

 jrflswa5SJ1ax.jpg


#48 TheLastPierrot

TheLastPierrot

    Rock Star

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,126 posts

Posted 09 December 2014 - 09:30 PM

@punk
 

Thanks!

Well they certainly could do it if the admin of the forum wanted to, but they wont even consider to do it if its just the author asking, I guess only if they see its popular or have many people asking for it...
this is why I would love this thread to be more active, since it could mean more potential readers would check it out...

Sometime ago I sent a message on youtube to 2 manga reviewers and ask them to review Bleak if they liked the story but could also just tell me their opinion by PM, none of them even replied though...

So I guess for me as the author its probably useless to try manga reviewers unless its one that is asking for indie manga. Those guys will usually review what people most ask them to I guess...


check my facebook page for updates: https://www.facebook...heDreamCatcherz

or my twitter: https://twitter.com/TheLastPierrot


#49 steamjunkie

steamjunkie

    Exorcist

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 242 posts
  • LocationThe Moon

Posted 10 December 2014 - 10:28 PM

Spoiler ...

 

That's great! I look forward to seeing that. I did notice that AF seems kinda skeptical of everything. He didn't even like the term "Smilers". 

 

Yeah I KNOW the only way to get better at it is to do it, but I somehow still feel like there is something missing from my art besides technical skill.

 

I've written quite a few stories, but as soon as the story gets "good" I feel that my art won't be able to keep up with the story's quality.

 

I agree. I've seen quite a few incredible illustrators who can't make interesting comics... it's definitely a strange thing.

 

Spoiler ...

 

Wow! Thanks a lot. I will probably be making a manga very soon.

 

Spoiler ...

 

I think that this is where the platform you choose makes a difference. Submit to a few webcomic sites and try to reach as many people as you can.

 

Maybe offer special thingstm on your own site that you don't put on the others. 

 

Spoiler ...

 

Yeah. People who review pro manga are pretty much useless for indie/amateur creators. Right now we are all about improving and they don't care.

 

"Consumers are scary."

 

Have you ever heard of Saturday-am? It's like the webcomic version of Shonen Jump for amateur creators. They're an upstart company, but I appreciate what they are trying to build.

 

A friend of mine, who is published in the magazine, asked me to submit something. I really like the idea of growing (artistically) with other people, so I might give it a shot.


wo5u8.jpg


#50 TheLastPierrot

TheLastPierrot

    Rock Star

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,126 posts

Posted 10 December 2014 - 11:16 PM

@steamjunkie yeah i know of saturday, who is your friend there?

no ofense but from what ive seen of them...I don't like it.
sound fishy as hell. first of all you only read their manga if you pay, which is completely the wrong direction to take this industry, and then the artists dont even see this money(thats at least what one of the founders replied to me when i asked if they pay the creators) so...where is that money going? and why should you publish your manga with them if you get less visibility and no money at all?

besides I dont like the way they market themselves, sounds arrogant and self centered, also they try hard to copy jump which I dislike, the only thing good about jump is that its really popular nowadays and your manga there gives you the possibility of getting an anime, so a copy cat of jump only has the bad part of it...
Then they also try to copy marvel and that just becomes a huge mess.

I also hate if someone tries to tell me what to do with my manga(they also seem to copy the "editors" jump thing)
 

my honest opinion is you will be much better on your own and maybe try inkblazers, there you always delete everything when you wish and have complete control on your series.


check my facebook page for updates: https://www.facebook...heDreamCatcherz

or my twitter: https://twitter.com/TheLastPierrot


#51 steamjunkie

steamjunkie

    Exorcist

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 242 posts
  • LocationThe Moon

Posted 17 December 2014 - 01:32 PM

@steamjunkie yeah i know of saturday, who is your friend there?

no ofense but from what ive seen of them...I don't like it.
sound fishy as hell. first of all you only read their manga if you pay, which is completely the wrong direction to take this industry, and then the artists dont even see this money(thats at least what one of the founders replied to me when i asked if they pay the creators) so...where is that money going? and why should you publish your manga with them if you get less visibility and no money at all?

besides I dont like the way they market themselves, sounds arrogant and self centered, also they try hard to copy jump which I dislike, the only thing good about jump is that its really popular nowadays and your manga there gives you the possibility of getting an anime, so a copy cat of jump only has the bad part of it...
Then they also try to copy marvel and that just becomes a huge mess.

I also hate if someone tries to tell me what to do with my manga(they also seem to copy the "editors" jump thing)
 

my honest opinion is you will be much better on your own and maybe try inkblazers, there you always delete everything when you wish and have complete control on your series.

 

I'm not offended at all! LOL

 

I don't see anything wrong with wanting to be paid for your hard work, but in this day and age, people don't wanna pay for stuff no mo.  :lol:

 

The artists do make money, but they are a small company, so they don't make a lot. The creator of Okamirai said he makes about $600 a month on Inkblazers and he's ranked 25th. The payouts on that site are based on traffic/rank.

 

I really like that they are trying to mimic the Japanese manga format. I really like Jump too! It's the reason that I draw. One day I wish to be the level of someone who could be featured in Jump. And Saturday AM does crossovers! That's really cool.

 

As far as I know, they do change the story just to get it to a place that it would fit within the demographic they are aiming for. They don't oversee every chapter like Jump or whatever.

 

As I have never created a manga before, I think that Inkblazers is the best choice for me. I don't know anything about that medium. I just need to be able to practice without any commitments or deadlines.


  • TheLastPierrot likes this

wo5u8.jpg


#52 daoko

daoko

    Moe

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 133 posts

User's Awards

2   

Posted 17 December 2014 - 02:17 PM

Hey!

 

Good stuff that you have finished a 20+ preview already. Good production.

Now, I'm not gonna talk about flowers and stuff, so harsh critique incoming. I'm assuming you can see what is useful for you and what is not.

 

Starting with what is bad, then what is good. Because ending positive is better.

What is bad?

Your girls look like boys. There is not enough distinction between a male face and a female face. The gimmicks that makes me recognize one human as a girl and the other as a boy in your manga is the hair and the eyelashes. There should be more than that.

The black background of the borders make it difficult to digest. Strange phrasing, yes, but you should get the point. Darkness gives atmosphere, and you don't want to permanently give it a dark atmosphere.

Panel composition is sometimes inconvenient. (Three panels from up to down, uncanny symmetry, WAY TOO MANY slanted frames) I guess that last thing is very 'dynamic' (and also very shoujo) thing to do. But it's actually cluttering the reading flow.

Greyscale shading is ugly. Remember: You are drawing a manga; characteristically black and white. Grey undertones should be the UNDERTONE. You should get more black into your drawings. Refer to other manga to see how they do it. There's actually a lot of black going on. Without a big splash of black into your drawing you are missing the last value, you know.

I feel like your holding on to manga conventions of drawing handicaps you. You should be inspired, not copy. Maybe that's not your intention, but that's how I interpret it. Especially seeing the contrast of the absurd-realistic (not as in it's so realistic it's absurd, but as in it looks absurd because it shows more realism )bartender to the regular animu characters.

Those softshades/gradients don't look good.

Full-black clothed/haired character design is good. Full black inking it isn't. Give it 'breathing room' by introducing whites or greys in the design.

 

What is gucci?

You show potential. Which sounds stupid. and saying someone has potential IS stupid. But you have potential. Your pacing is surprisingly good. It reads really fluent. Humor is not my cup of tea and feels forced at times, but I see someone appreciating it. Bubbles are usually well placed. (except for the loose text inter-panel pieces seen in Bleak. Avoid that please.)

Your art has times of genius - especially seen in the bartender. That's why I said it feels mango style holds you back. But I understand your characters need to be cute and attractive and easy to look at. It's still possible with more realism though. Like Steam said, there are other ways than just the pointy chin to make a girl look feminine.

You need to work on backgrounds too. And I guess this is not a 'good' point, but I'll just go over into advice mode: First, work on your background skills. Be a master of the perspective and 3d, because your angles are elementary. Trust me, if you do more background studies you'll be able to better that too. Secondly, become better at background in manga style; which means, because of the black and white character of manga, try to get a thin brush/pen for the background and just make it not clash with the pen of what really matters in the panel.

Also; get better at anatomy/poses. Some look ridiculously impossible. Crossed legs looked awkward, complex perspectives looked awkward etc. It all comes down to just basic shapes of the body etc.

 

SO. You might have read this and think to yourself "Wow fuck this guy who does he think he is. Ignore him and continue living the life!" and that would be fine. Or you might think to yourself "Oh, yeah. I guess there are SOME flaws in my art still...but how do I fix them?"

Just copy stuff man. Copy stuff from other (well drawn) manga. Draw from reality. Draw from photographs. Draw yourself. Just don't think that you KNOW how to draw something. And if you really wanna go hardcore read some artbooks from Hampton or Loomis.

 

Ok bye good luck in life


  • TheLastPierrot likes this

iI8JgRw.jpg


#53 TheLastPierrot

TheLastPierrot

    Rock Star

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,126 posts

Posted 17 December 2014 - 02:53 PM

@daoko  thanks for the feedback, i really appreciate it.

Some of the negative stuff you mentioned im well aware and its a continuied effort, trying to get better and better. Like the backgrounds and female characters, sometimes I use too much screentone and etc.
I think im already getting better on the last pages im drawing since page 21.

But some stuff i have to disagree, like the black background, I just like it! I want to give it a cinematic feel, I think it looks better than a white background, but since thats the norm i expect people to find it strange, but I hope the readers get used to it.
I dont think the "manga style" is holding me back either, because Ive always had a good idea of what my style want to be like, its not like Im trying to make it look like anything else Ive seen so its hard to know exactly how I want it to look like, im still putting the pieces together...

The Ogre(bartender) is easier to draw exactly because he is complex and ugly, faces that arent too simple nor complex are the hard ones to draw because its difficult to get the right balance between simple and not too simple, as well as trying to make it look good with less lines.

I'm still looking at real life all the time to get my anatomy and backgrounds better yes! haha but Its not a easy process even if you know anatomy, I hope in the near future for my artwork to be much better than it is right now.

ps: I draw with pencils, so in itself thats something distinct from usual manga and I only use ink brushes for some speech bubbles...As I said before Im not letting the "rules" tell me how to create my pages so it takes me more time to figure out what works and what doesnt

So...did you read bleak? what do you think of the story??
and "bye"? stay and continue to comment on future chapters! :D


check my facebook page for updates: https://www.facebook...heDreamCatcherz

or my twitter: https://twitter.com/TheLastPierrot


#54 TheLastPierrot

TheLastPierrot

    Rock Star

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,126 posts

Posted 17 December 2014 - 03:57 PM

to everyone:
who is the active admin here? Im thinking of asking something of him...


check my facebook page for updates: https://www.facebook...heDreamCatcherz

or my twitter: https://twitter.com/TheLastPierrot


#55 TheLastPierrot

TheLastPierrot

    Rock Star

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,126 posts

Posted 19 December 2014 - 02:03 PM

@steamjunkie apparently ink Blazers is going to close... Not sure if it's a good or bad news since I kinda disliked the way they did things and now maybe other people try to fill the hole.

On another note I contacted the admin here asking if he could promote dead+heart here in exchange for me to promoting onemanga on the last page of my chapters, but the guy didn't even answer.

check my facebook page for updates: https://www.facebook...heDreamCatcherz

or my twitter: https://twitter.com/TheLastPierrot


#56 azer_moli

azer_moli

    Member

  • Moderators
  • 3,133 posts
  • LocationFrance

User's Awards

2         

Posted 19 December 2014 - 03:48 PM

I'm not sure why so many people criticize your girls… I hate girls with pointy chins, it feels so stupid, while yours were totally fine, and totally girly enough from my point of view… 

 

Anyway, the only little thing that sometimes disturbs me in your art is how flat your characters looks. I mean, they lack roundness, thickness. For example, that guy on the last page you posted, he looks absolutely awesome and with so many cool details, but on the sides it's too… flat. Especially when your characters are seen from the front. I think you should add more shadows on them to emphasize the curves… or more curves or softer lines. I don't know, I have no idea how an artist can improve that.  

It might be just me though, because that's something that I criticize with some professional mangaka too… 


  • TheLastPierrot likes this

#57 TheLastPierrot

TheLastPierrot

    Rock Star

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,126 posts

Posted 19 December 2014 - 05:10 PM

I'm not sure why so many people criticize your girls… I hate girls with pointy chins, it feels so stupid, while yours were totally fine, and totally girly enough from my point of view… 

 

Anyway, the only little thing that sometimes disturbs me in your art is how flat your characters looks. I mean, they lack roundness, thickness. For example, that guy on the last page you posted, he looks absolutely awesome and with so many cool details, but on the sides it's too… flat. Especially when your characters are seen from the front. I think you should add more shadows on them to emphasize the curves… or more curves or softer lines. I don't know, I have no idea how an artist can improve that.  

It might be just me though, because that's something that I criticize with some professional mangaka too… 

@azer_moli

 

I think its because people that watch anime are too used to the stereotype moe face with really big eyes and completely round face, but my style isnt like that.
I know though that my females arent perfect but I definitely wont try to go the anime stereotype faces route. I think they are already better than in the first pages too.

hum im not sure i understand what you are saying with the "flat", could you elaborate? as the artist of the works it may be more difficult for me to understand its flaws so im curious if im missing something


Edited by TheLastPierrot, 19 December 2014 - 05:10 PM.

check my facebook page for updates: https://www.facebook...heDreamCatcherz

or my twitter: https://twitter.com/TheLastPierrot


#58 azer_moli

azer_moli

    Member

  • Moderators
  • 3,133 posts
  • LocationFrance

User's Awards

2         

Posted 19 December 2014 - 05:43 PM

@azer_moli

 

I think its because people that watch anime are too used to the stereotype moe face with really big eyes and completely round face, but my style isnt like that.
I know though that my females arent perfect but I definitely wont try to go the anime stereotype faces route. I think they are already better than in the first pages too.

hum im not sure i understand what you are saying with the "flat", could you elaborate? as the artist of the works it may be more difficult for me to understand its flaws so im curious if im missing something

 

How to explain it in other words… 

 

Well, here: https://fbcdn-sphoto...28fafd21d67909b

Your male character is great in terms of roundness, it feels like he has thickness, because he's not seen from front, and you do pretty well with your angles. 

However, here: https://fbcdn-sphoto...04aebe85746c67b

His right leg (the one shown in profile) doesn't have thickness, as if you drew a flat leg instead of a cylinder. If you see what I mean. 

 

If I were to caricature it, I'd say that sometimes it's like we have pieces of paper standing on something, instead of volumes. Volume might be the best word to express it. It doesn't happen all the time though, only when you draw from front and profile. It's your panel in progress that made me put the finger on what disturbed me actually, because while your character has so many details, his sides make him look flat (maybe because of his trousers though, maybe it's because it's not curved enough and too straight). 

 

Does it make any sense?


  • TheLastPierrot likes this

#59 TheLastPierrot

TheLastPierrot

    Rock Star

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,126 posts

Posted 19 December 2014 - 07:08 PM

How to explain it in other words… 

 

Well, here: https://fbcdn-sphoto...28fafd21d67909b

Your male character is great in terms of roundness, it feels like he has thickness, because he's not seen from front, and you do pretty well with your angles. 

However, here: https://fbcdn-sphoto...04aebe85746c67b

His right leg (the one shown in profile) doesn't have thickness, as if you drew a flat leg instead of a cylinder. If you see what I mean. 

 

If I were to caricature it, I'd say that sometimes it's like we have pieces of paper standing on something, instead of volumes. Volume might be the best word to express it. It doesn't happen all the time though, only when you draw from front and profile. It's your panel in progress that made me put the finger on what disturbed me actually, because while your character has so many details, his sides make him look flat (maybe because of his trousers though, maybe it's because it's not curved enough and too straight). 

 

Does it make any sense?

thanks, yes i get what you are saying but I cant see it on my drawings xD on the first one though i think his legs are too short, could it be it?

maybe its just a matter getting more confortable with drawing anatomy and my characters so I can draw it more dynamically


check my facebook page for updates: https://www.facebook...heDreamCatcherz

or my twitter: https://twitter.com/TheLastPierrot


#60 steamjunkie

steamjunkie

    Exorcist

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 242 posts
  • LocationThe Moon

Posted 21 December 2014 - 10:42 PM

@steamjunkie apparently ink Blazers is going to close... Not sure if it's a good or bad news since I kinda disliked the way they did things and now maybe other people try to fill the hole.

On another note I contacted the admin here asking if he could promote dead+heart here in exchange for me to promoting onemanga on the last page of my chapters, but the guy didn't even answer.

 

Yeah I just found out too! I was gonna give it a try, but now I can't. LOL What exactly didn't you like about them? 

 

A lot of people from Inkblazers will be moving to Tapastic. That site seems to favor super long scroll-friendly pages.

 

I might make a small comic just to play around with that format.  :^_^:


wo5u8.jpg





0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users