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Bleak by AI


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#1 TheLastPierrot

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Posted 21 December 2012 - 03:29 PM

Well, I had this thread in the old OMforum so I guess i will create it again here.

 

original.jpg

 

I`m an aspiring professional comic/manga artist, so I would like to share my works here with you guys and ask for feedback!

this is my short story (wich will be continued some day) TheLastPierrot:
http://www.mangamaga...181/0/0?lang=en

And this is my ongoing series,Bleak, planned a long story that I am trying to update a chapter a month but hope to be able to release chapters weekly in the future:http://www.mangamaga...586/0/0?lang=en


If you like my series you can also follow my FB page here : https://www.facebook...heDreamCatcherz

 

 

Teaser:
https://www.facebook...04&notif_t=like


Edited by TheLastPierrot, 26 January 2013 - 07:52 PM.

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check my facebook page for updates: https://www.facebook...heDreamCatcherz

or my twitter: https://twitter.com/TheLastPierrot


#2 ShinRyuu

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Posted 22 December 2012 - 09:42 AM

Hey, got a slightly unrelated question: How the hell do you draw the fingers?!

 

Anyway, it looks good... I guess. But what are those things around the guy? Flies?



#3 Baka-Dynasty

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Posted 22 December 2012 - 01:35 PM

O___O omg this is really good u got me !!!! i love it but its WHY DID HE HAVE TO DIE SO SOON > ( safasgfasga i hate u BLEHHHHH

 

But that apart ur drawing skillz are really great the story seems good so far not 2 much chit-chat going on some action drama :3 looking good i dont have much advive or critics to do apart from this one

 

(You make one more character die and i will find you and kill you myself :3 )


!Banana head fart man !

Selena_gomez_sig_by_litlemusa.jpg

 

*Knowledge can never replace friendship, i prefer to be an idiot*

 

Come check out my video room thread :3

http://onemangaforum...z-video-room-3/

 

Spoiler

#4 TheLastPierrot

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Posted 22 December 2012 - 03:15 PM

Hey, got a slightly unrelated question: How the hell do you draw the fingers?!

 

Anyway, it looks good... I guess. But what are those things around the guy? Flies?

-What do you mean? do you mean if I use references or something? if its that then no, I practiced a lot looking at photos and using my own hands as reference too, nowadays I draw it from head with no reference though.

 

- you have to read the first chapter to discover that but no, they arent flies haha :D



O___O omg this is really good u got me !!!! i love it but its WHY DID HE HAVE TO DIE SO SOON > ( safasgfasga i hate u BLEHHHHH

 

But that apart ur drawing skillz are really great the story seems good so far not 2 much chit-chat going on some action drama :3 looking good i dont have much advive or critics to do apart from this one

 

(You make one more character die and i will find you and kill you myself :3 )

 

thank you very much! and I dont mind being hated that way :3 hahaha

are you commenting on just TheLastPierrot, or Bleak too?


check my facebook page for updates: https://www.facebook...heDreamCatcherz

or my twitter: https://twitter.com/TheLastPierrot


#5 TheLastPierrot

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Posted 22 December 2012 - 09:28 PM

I made a banner to use here(but it happens I can only use it when I reach 50 post counts...), if you would like to help advertising Bleak you are free to use it too, here is the url: http://fc07.devianta...rot-d5faaj6.gif


check my facebook page for updates: https://www.facebook...heDreamCatcherz

or my twitter: https://twitter.com/TheLastPierrot


#6 Baka-Dynasty

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Posted 22 December 2012 - 10:16 PM

only read last pierrot :3 ill read the rest when i can

 

 

Blehh read the rest but had to stop midway the drawings arent appealing at all for me :l yes its sad but im that kind of person if i dont liek the drawings i dont read the manga :3 


Edited by skillzthatkillz, 24 December 2012 - 10:38 PM.

!Banana head fart man !

Selena_gomez_sig_by_litlemusa.jpg

 

*Knowledge can never replace friendship, i prefer to be an idiot*

 

Come check out my video room thread :3

http://onemangaforum...z-video-room-3/

 

Spoiler

#7 TheLastPierrot

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Posted 26 December 2012 - 03:22 PM

I would like to share this here: https://www.facebook...9?notif_t=like  :D


check my facebook page for updates: https://www.facebook...heDreamCatcherz

or my twitter: https://twitter.com/TheLastPierrot


#8 Mad_Alice

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Posted 31 December 2012 - 04:51 PM

Just some notes I made while looking through the two:

  • Keep the backgrounds a little more consistent, or rather, that black and white checkered pattern in The Last Pierrot was too much and felt awkward. Which then made the other patterns/gray tones seem awkward because everything kept switching around.
  • It wouldn't hurt to turn the characters heads a little more when they are looking around, instead of just having the eyes looking in a direction. In Bleak, it seemed like the main character's head was almost always in the same position, so it was a little static.
  • Use the line weight for contrast. The art might be more successful if the outline of the characters was more distinct from the rest of the lines.
  • It looks a little awkward when the character's face is mostly cut out of the panel and you just see his hair and eyes. There might be an exclamation point next to his face but he doesn't look very surprised.
  • The girls look a little bit manly.
  • Have someone who is good at writing proof read.

 

Overall I thought it was pretty good, but you asked for feedback so there it is.



#9 TheLastPierrot

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Posted 01 January 2013 - 05:35 PM

Just some notes I made while looking through the two:
  • Keep the backgrounds a little more consistent, or rather, that black and white checkered pattern in The Last Pierrot was too much and felt awkward. Which then made the other patterns/gray tones seem awkward because everything kept switching around.
  • It wouldn't hurt to turn the characters heads a little more when they are looking around, instead of just having the eyes looking in a direction. In Bleak, it seemed like the main character's head was almost always in the same position, so it was a little static.
  • Use the line weight for contrast. The art might be more successful if the outline of the characters was more distinct from the rest of the lines.
  • It looks a little awkward when the character's face is mostly cut out of the panel and you just see his hair and eyes. There might be an exclamation point next to his face but he doesn't look very surprised.
  • The girls look a little bit manly.
  • Have someone who is good at writing proof read.

 

Overall I thought it was pretty good, but you asked for feedback so there it is.

thanks for the feedback, most stuff you mentioned I am already aware of and trying to improve. I am doing my best to constantly improve my artwork, my style is definitely a work in progress.
Hope you liked the story though!


check my facebook page for updates: https://www.facebook...heDreamCatcherz

or my twitter: https://twitter.com/TheLastPierrot


#10 TheLastPierrot

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Posted 01 January 2013 - 08:34 PM

happy_2013_by_thelastpierrot-d5q3a70.png

 

Happy 2013!


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check my facebook page for updates: https://www.facebook...heDreamCatcherz

or my twitter: https://twitter.com/TheLastPierrot


#11 Lorenx1

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Posted 02 January 2013 - 04:01 PM

Idk if the rules still apply from the old OMF but it would be great if you could post some chapters onto here.

On another note, the art you have here has striking resemblance to Bleach, it has that modern logo with that signature Ichigo pose and clothing that ichigo would wear on a cover. The goggles and the motorbike gloes and even that lil rag at the end. The other character next to him also has a striking resemblance to Orihime.

Other than that the skin is a little too dark and doesnt look good with all the orange.

Edited by Lorenx1, 02 January 2013 - 04:07 PM.

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#12 TheLastPierrot

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Posted 14 January 2013 - 04:12 PM

I ve been loaded with college work which is delaying the new chapter release, meanwhile here are some sketches: https://www.facebook...&type=1


check my facebook page for updates: https://www.facebook...heDreamCatcherz

or my twitter: https://twitter.com/TheLastPierrot


#13 Lorenx1

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Posted 17 January 2013 - 04:42 PM

i doubt you're that busy to not post images onto here.


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#14 TheLastPierrot

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Posted 26 January 2013 - 07:49 PM

a small teaser for Bleak : https://www.facebook...04&notif_t=like


check my facebook page for updates: https://www.facebook...heDreamCatcherz

or my twitter: https://twitter.com/TheLastPierrot


#15 TheLastPierrot

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Posted 07 May 2013 - 11:11 AM

 http://www.livestream.com/thelastpierrot

Livestreaming drawing a page of chapter 3
 


check my facebook page for updates: https://www.facebook...heDreamCatcherz

or my twitter: https://twitter.com/TheLastPierrot


#16 monarchthelegend

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Posted 08 May 2013 - 01:36 PM

Ah damn wish I came earlier. Hopefully I can catch the next it'd be awesome

Edited by monarchthelegend, 08 May 2013 - 01:37 PM.

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#17 TheLastPierrot

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Posted 08 May 2013 - 04:35 PM

Ah damn wish I came earlier. Hopefully I can catch the next it'd be awesome

thanks!
I will try to say something maybe a day before I do it again so more people can watch


check my facebook page for updates: https://www.facebook...heDreamCatcherz

or my twitter: https://twitter.com/TheLastPierrot


#18 Metal Heart

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Posted 08 May 2013 - 07:01 PM

I got to the last page of chapter two and went "NOOOOO".

I could start nit picking, but I dont think theres anything I can say that you dont know anyway. I enjoyed the two chapters you have up, keep it up, I want to see what happens next.


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Thank you for taking the time to read this signature. This signature loves you.

 

 

If anyone is in the mood for some Smash Bros 3DS my friend code is 1118-0339-4355.

 

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#19 TheLastPierrot

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Posted 08 May 2013 - 07:22 PM

I got to the last page of chapter two and went "NOOOOO".

I could start nit picking, but I dont think theres anything I can say that you dont know anyway. I enjoyed the two chapters you have up, keep it up, I want to see what happens next.

oh, thanks! I hope you enjoy chapter 3.


check my facebook page for updates: https://www.facebook...heDreamCatcherz

or my twitter: https://twitter.com/TheLastPierrot


#20 TheLastPierrot

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Posted 28 May 2013 - 04:48 PM

I`ve finally launched my own website http://www.thedreamcatcherz.com/

Also , I will release Bleak chapter 3 this Friday!


check my facebook page for updates: https://www.facebook...heDreamCatcherz

or my twitter: https://twitter.com/TheLastPierrot





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