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[Voting] Poetry Contest #34


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Poll: Poetry Contest #34 (7 member(s) have cast votes)

Which is the best?

  1. whatamelon - Introvert in a Party (0 votes [0.00%])

    Percentage of vote: 0.00%

  2. Red Opus - The Choke Artist (1 votes [14.29%] - View)

    Percentage of vote: 14.29%

  3. GintaMan - [Untitled] (1 votes [14.29%] - View)

    Percentage of vote: 14.29%

  4. mantisstalker - Endless Examples (3 votes [42.86%] - View)

    Percentage of vote: 42.86%

  5. diezdragon - Epitome of Creation (2 votes [28.57%] - View)

    Percentage of vote: 28.57%

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#1 Oben

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Posted 17 September 2016 - 03:57 PM

Welcome to the voting for Poetry Contest #34!

The theme was "Indecision", as picked by diezdragon, the winner of round #33.

The poll should-be self-explanatory. Please vote objectively, and fair.
You are not allowed to vote for yourself.

Please also post your opinions/criticism in the thread.
Previous rounds and winners can be found pinned in the Contest Forum and the Discussion Thread.

Here are the entries for this round:
 

Spoiler Introvert in a Party



Spoiler The Choke Artist



Spoiler



Spoiler Endless Examples



Spoiler Epitome of Creation

 

Voting closes on October 1st.


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#2 Red Opus

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Posted 17 September 2016 - 06:45 PM

Not much to say about melon's poem, if anything it's short but it all made me wonder where is this taking place exactly. At first i thought it was the viewpoint of a cultural observer in his own head, or someone at work whose more focused on what's happening later than the work itself, at some point even summarizing human interactions and the world at large in the first six lines of the poem. Basically 72 years of life for an average person can be summed up in an 8 line poem. But it is short so i struggled to see where the theme fit, hopefully melon can decode it for us.

 

The poems have really gotten dark lol but they do reflect life in general, ginta usually does that. If you're a guy you probably got some feels after reading it. I will say no more, i need to find that box of tissues.....

 

Speaking of dark poems......Mantis takes the cake, i really like it cuz, i like....this kinda dark shit. Has anyone seen my thread sabu.png but idk i can't really pick out the theme here i know i'm not good at tacit things like this.

 

 

 

Diezopus summarized what he posted in the discussion thread lol, a summary of the writing process.

 

yeshrug.png the fucked up thing is i had more to say about the poem with the least words.


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#3 whatamelon

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Posted 17 September 2016 - 09:07 PM

I'll first comment on other's poems:

The Choke Artist by Red Opus

I like how your poem represents the heated moment of a basketball game's final deciding moments in a poem. In an actual game this happens so fast, but through a poem, I can see everything in slow motion. I'm not so familiar with basketball terms, so I'm sure I didn't appreciate it fully. But the ending was a surprised, based on the first few stanzas I was pretty sure he is going to get the ball in. :)

Unititled by GintaMan

The feels in this one is strong, that's why I voted for it :). From what I understand, it is about a poem of a guy who really loves a girl, but for some reason, feels he isn't good enough and is deciding whether to pursue it or not. Or it could be a scenario where a guy wants to confess his love or just forget his feelings. Either way, I think the feels come from how I can sense the guy really loves the girl and yet he doesn't see it. Makes me want to root for him :)

Endless Examples by Mantis Stalker

I agree with Red Opus that this is one dark poem. I like how you presented 2 scenarios, and I can relate more to the robot scenario more so I'll talk more about that. I think it speaks of the hidden fear in all of us, the fear of being useless. That no matter how much we work, or how much we achieve, in the end we are nothing. We are going to turn into dust and somebody better will inevitably replace us, which begs the question why are we even doing our best. Yeah, that's how I interpret it.

And I like your title of endless examples, it's as if you are saying there are more dreary scenarios happening as I type, that we just don't take a good look at it. And from what I understand, it's not really an indecision, but more of there's nothing to decide because inevitably it's going to be a dark road... :(


Epitome of Creation by Diezdragon

Haha, I thought it was a serious poem..but turned out to be really funny xD. Yeah writing a poem is so difficult, but you turned that struggle into a poem which is really cool. And it now made sense why you entered your poem almost the last day haha.


As for my poem since Red Opus wants me to explain:

Spoiler

Edited by whatamelon, 17 September 2016 - 09:55 PM.

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#4 diezdragon

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Posted 19 September 2016 - 05:29 AM

I'm far from someone who is good at this, but I'll just post what I thought anyway..

 

Whatamelon: Short and concise, yet with more than enough room left for the imagination of the viewer due to the relatable issue. I love it.

Red Opus: Compared to the previous one, I think some of the relatability went missing for me as I know little to nothing of Basketball and its rules. Nevertheless, the main point carries over well. And it paints a nice picture in my mind, or movie or whatever. Just silence, aside from occasional grunts and the sound of the ball and feet against the ground. A single person working his way, silently analyzing his way through the crowd, all his focus on the game; on not screwing up. It was however a bit long maybe? I don't know, and I'm not the person to say such things anyway since most of the stuff I write ends up being way too long anyway. Either way I felt the length didn't do much for it when it came to describing, although that might just be me being utterly unable to understand all of the basketball terms anyway. Regardless, I liked it.

GintaMan: Great symbolism in this one. Crafting a frail bridge representing love to desperately make an attempt for the opposite side conveys a lot of emotions imo. A lack of confidence, desperately working towards your goal and also a bit of disillusion maybe. The lighter part keeps that up as we get hints of mental instability and fears that it will all have been in vain. I'm not sure what to make however out of the last part echoing the beginning, albeit flipped. He emphasizes how frail his creation is maybe? Absolutely amazing nonetheless.

Mantisstalker: I interpret this as comparing society and the people living within it as machines, echoing of a factory perhaps, a factory with clear-cut standards of what is normal and accepted and what not. And it continues from that, carrying a powerful echo with each line as you read further and then go back to reread it again. Dark and powerful. And of course the last line implying that the cycle continues.. Love it. This was in fact the one I voted for.


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Fool's gold can always buy a fool's services.

 

Spoiler Retired fool quotes

#5 GintaMan

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Posted 19 September 2016 - 07:52 AM

Sorry, fam, was late at posting my review on the poems. Thank you for the comments and I promise to bring my A-game next time we have a contest again. We have a good set of poems for this contest and I'm glad we're more engaged in discussing our works.

 

@whatamelon : Short but sweet, and I understood why it is so short --- because indecision is that quick as well, that short span of time existing inside our heads on what to do and what do we become, even during trivial moments. 

 

@Red Opus : awesome detail man, and I understand @diezdragon 's concern about relatability since not everyone plays b-ball. But because I play basketball, the level of imagery and detail spoke to me and it worked well to display that "decision" moment for the player. 

 

@mantisstalker: now this is usually my cup of tea and I like the parallelism between the machine and the child, and how it compares the similarities of their circumstance and yet highlights the fundamental difference --- that the child, compared to a machine, is more complex and can't be fixed through routine maintenance. The machine relies on outside interference to work continuously well, while the child's own decision/indecision clashing with outside forces makes or breaks him/her. Well done on the open-ended last line as well.

 

@diezdragon : I actually smiled a lot on this poem of yours, especially since it felt like an Edgar Allan Poe poem with great rhymes and rhythm to it yet it has that charm of relatability and light heartedness. The struggle churned out a great poem, just like @whatamelon said.

 

Spoiler Own poem explanation

 

I'm gonna do a re-reading after a few days, and then vote. All the poems (except mine, LOL) are worth the vote. I just gotta think carefully first, as I'm a mess at composing my thoughts at first reading.  :lolxg:  :lolxg:  :lolxg:


Edited by GintaMan, 19 September 2016 - 07:58 AM.

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"To have a dream is to struggle with reality."

 

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#6 whatamelon

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Posted 19 September 2016 - 08:23 AM

It was tough to vote for me too..too many good entries. But I went for Ginta's since he played around with my feelings the most xd.

@GintaMan Haha,no exceptions all poems are worth a vote. But I can understand, we are most critical with our own poems. But having people take the time to read them is already good enough, and maybe a few comments/ critic *cough*. xd
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#7 Red Opus

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Posted 19 September 2016 - 09:17 AM

Yea I probably shot myself in the foot with the basketball theme lol but I had to do it for the love. I was playing the video game when it happened, I had Blake griffin on me at the time, demarcus cousins was on the post with cp guarding him and I just messed it up, lost the game by not knowing how much time I had.

Actually in the poem, the amount of time at the end of each stanza like 24 seconds or 15 seconds, was also about how much lines I would write so after I first mention 24 seconds I had 24 lines to write.
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#8 mantisstalker

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Posted 19 September 2016 - 10:18 AM

So many people talking  :D It makes this place feel alive!

Sorry about being late to the party (again)

 

whatamelon- As the social craving introvert that I am I feel this poem greatly. You go to parties hosted by social groups and end up sitting there because you just wanna talk to a couple of people but when someone does talk to you you feel bad about them having to babysit you. Not to mention wanting to talk to them cute guys  :( But I digress. I would compare it to many animes I have watched: it was short and really good but I really wished there was more. I do say that tentatively as you can never know if anything more would take away from the experience but it was really good and I do look forward to seeing more of you in the future. 

 

Red Opus- I'm not a great fan of basketball (or really any non-esport now I think about it  :unsure:) but I really liked this poem. In my head I read it as very fast paced and it felt like I was there. You also broke away from the overall darker themes that I'd really like to get better at doing myself. I feel some of the more sport related phases might have gone over my head but it was simple enough for a layman reader to understand easily while adding to the poem by making it more realistic and immersive. 

 

GintaMan- This reminded me of this song actually and I thought the piece was a nice metaphor for the hesitation brought about when wondering if you should tell someone about how you feel about them, especially in this day and age. I also liked how it ended without a solid ending leaving the reader to wonder how things turned out while also showing people can sit in that situation for a very long time indeed. 

 

deizdragon- I can feel the resentment about me bullying you to write this xD Was worth it though. Was a nice short story that probably speaks to all of us when it comes to writing poems. Well I won't speak for others but when I do personal ones the words come of their own accord and I have one I've spent a few months on, but when you have to write for a deadline on a set theme it can feel a tad oppressive. But then again you can think of it as a challenge! One that you dealt with very well.

 

As for my own both were scenario's meant to represent the everyday indecision that comes about when deciding whether or not to tell people about a serious matter for whatever reason. The two examples I gave were physical health and trying to soldier on through a growing condition, and mental health where the child felt like they couldn't talk to others and just hoped for the best. It was actually inspired by a personal experience I had just before the contest where an old partner seriously told me to get checked for STI's since they had a long history of never getting tests. At the time I was scared and more than a little angry, especially since HIV was a very much in the playing cards but since I'm a very private person when it comes to stuff like this I wasn't sure if I should go out even if I could get seriously sick. But I did go and nothing was wrong, I'm all clear, and after getting the results I thought the experience translated nicely into the contests theme so I ran with it.

So by the look of it a lot of people used past experiences for inspiration? 

 

But still for me Red Opus takes the cake for my vote~ If I could I'd vote for whatamelon too  :cry:


 

The poems have really gotten dark lol but they do reflect life in general, ginta usually does that. If you're a guy you probably got some feels after reading it. I will say no more, i need to find that box of tissues.....

100% agree with this  :blush: I feel you man


Edited by mantisstalker, 19 September 2016 - 10:11 AM.

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#9 GintaMan

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Posted 19 September 2016 - 12:14 PM

WE'RE ALIVE PEOPLE! THE POEM CONTEST IS ALIVE AND KICKING!!!!! TAKE THAT, OTHER CONTESTS! LOLz  :lolxg:  :lolxg:  :lolxg:  :lolxg:  :lolxg:


"To have a dream is to struggle with reality."

 

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#10 Oben

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Posted 19 September 2016 - 12:39 PM

WE'RE ALIVE PEOPLE! THE POEM CONTEST IS ALIVE AND KICKING!!!!! TAKE THAT, OTHER CONTESTS! LOLz  :lolxg:  :lolxg:  :lolxg:  :lolxg:  :lolxg:

 

It's barely a competition when the others are dead and buried >_>


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#11 GintaMan

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Posted 19 September 2016 - 12:51 PM


It's barely a competition when the others are dead and buried >_>

 

 

'COZ WE BURIED THEEEEEMM~! AM I RIGHT? AM I RIGHT???  no? okay... 


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"To have a dream is to struggle with reality."

 

Have a taste of my pIMP Slap!

 

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"The Old Man of the North"

 

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#12 Red Opus

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Posted 19 September 2016 - 03:49 PM

Is this what being the most handsome guy in the room by default looks like lol
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#13 whatamelon

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Posted 19 September 2016 - 06:05 PM

But still for me Red Opus takes the cake for my vote~ If I could I'd vote for whatamelon too

Haha thanks Mantis but it's fine. It is a good experience and I'll most probably join again next time unless I pull a Diezdragon move and watch youtube instead xd

So by the look of it a lot of people used past experiences for inspiration?


Thanks for sharing and I'm glad everything went all right :)! Yeah most of us I think got it from our personal experience, so if that's you @GintaMan, I'm rooting for you :)!



It's barely a competition when the others are dead and buried >_>

I usually join contests as much as I c an within my capabilities for the heck of it. But seeing as other contests are art related, sadly I can't. I wish more people would join though...

Edited by whatamelon, 19 September 2016 - 06:11 PM.

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#14 mantisstalker

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Posted 19 September 2016 - 08:54 PM

It is a little sad, especially when I realised no one entered the last writing promp contest :/ I am next to never happy with my work so I post more when there's few entries and take a break when things are busy but since things are quiet again I'll be entering more. Also nagging Diez to enter :P
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#15 Red Opus

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Posted 20 September 2016 - 07:05 AM

It is a little sad, especially when I realised no one entered the last writing promp contest :/ I am next to never happy with my work so I post more when there's few entries and take a break when things are busy but since things are quiet again I'll be entering more. Also nagging Diez to enter :P


I'd totally be willing to enter the writing prompt contest

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#16 GintaMan

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Posted 20 September 2016 - 07:12 AM



mantisstalker, on 19 Sept 2016 - 11:18 PM, said:
So by the look of it a lot of people used past experiences for inspiration?

Thanks for sharing and I'm glad everything went all right ! Yeah most of us I think got it from our personal experience, so if that's you @GintaMan, I'm rooting for you !


 

Well in my case, it happened in the past and sadly, it did not work out. Hahah! But hey, I'm happy with my current girlfriend and planning on getting married a few years from now. So all is well! :)


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"To have a dream is to struggle with reality."

 

Have a taste of my pIMP Slap!

 

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"The Old Man of the North"

 

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#17 whatamelon

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Posted 20 September 2016 - 08:08 AM

I'd totally be willing to enter the writing prompt contest


I'll be willing too, just no poem and prompt contest at the same time. xd
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#18 Oben

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Posted 20 September 2016 - 09:04 AM

I'll be willing too, just no poem and prompt contest at the same time. xd

 

The Poetry Contest usually takes 5-6 weeks per round including voting, while the writing prompt contest has no deadline (anymore) at all, I think there's room there somewhere

 

Well in my case, it happened in the past and sadly, it did not work out. Hahah! But hey, I'm happy with my current girlfriend and planning on getting married a few years from now. So all is well! :)

 

I request you name your firstborn Doflamingo.


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#19 GintaMan

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Posted 20 September 2016 - 09:57 AM


I request you name your firstborn Doflamingo.

 

Haha! No say on the matter, wife-to-be names him/her, since she will be the one in excruciating pain pushing it our of her uterus. LOL


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"To have a dream is to struggle with reality."

 

Have a taste of my pIMP Slap!

 

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"The Old Man of the North"

 

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#20 Oben

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Posted 30 September 2016 - 09:30 AM

Voting ends tomorrow!

Get your vote in now or regret it for the rest of your life!


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