30 replies to this topic

[diezdragon]

Secondly, why the characters act they way they do:

Why does Apocalypse want to kill everybody? Simple. HE'S THE FLIPPING INCARNATION OF EVIL.

Why does Benevolence want to stop him? CAUSE HE'S THE FLIPPING INCARNATION OF GOOD!

 

Another thing: SPOILER ALERT!!! THIS GIVES AWAY PART OF THE STORY (although it doesn't have that much impact - read it and you'll see) !!! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!

Spoiler

After what I am going to call the Rage Chapter (as in, multiple chapters), Apocalypse becomes not so evil, and Benevolence becomes not so good. This is because 2) Benevolence absorbs Rage into himself to beat him, and now Rage has an influence on Benev's personality, and 1) Apocalypse realizes that he could've indirectly cause the end of the world (since Rage is indirectly created by Apoc and Benev [Benev's rage at Apoc, but he's good... see it yet?]), ending Apoc's fun... so he says.

 

Their only motive as a group is to use their powers, really. Benevolence wants to help people (plus the thing with the spoiler above...) and Apocalypse just wants to fight people (plus, Benev won't let him out of his sight). 

 

And about Logic. He's really just a character I added for a few moments. He really doesn't do much, considering that he's a ghost. He's more of a side character that's with Benev and Apoc. HE pretty much has to exist, since the original guy is supposed to be a bit of a genius, and sometimes good, sometimes bad - you see where this is going? Benev = good side of OG (original guy). Apoc = bad OG. Logic = brains of OG.

 

The bolded would just make the story inherently boring imo (or at least really difficult to write around without making it boring). Especially after a few interactions or battles between the two, I think it would get old very fast. Usually, the hero has a motive beyond just being good, and the villain has a motive beyond just being bad.

Though starting the story off like that and then pulling the twist you mentioned might actually work out very well. Because it is certainly an interesting twist, and the contrast would definitely be greater if they were both 100% good/evil before that.

I still think it would be a good idea to add some relevant plot structure and some plot line staying consistent through the entire story, unless you want this to be a gag manga with fighting/story aspects rather than the other way around.

[Baka-Dynasty]

What diez said is right but one thing you have going for you is that your story is purely comedies. Thus the reason behind being good and vlbad can be something as stupid as an old querell about a candy or someshit like that.

Having them enter other world is a nice idea as well. But I don't know about this whole interfering with others part . As God they should have a rule not to directly interfere with humans or someshit like that .

[darthblox]

They aren't god. That's what they call their fused power. So they can do whatever the heck they want (a, killing, B, helping others)

 

The bolded would just make the story inherently boring imo (or at least really difficult to write around without making it boring). Especially after a few interactions or battles between the two, I think it would get old very fast. Usually, the hero has a motive beyond just being good, and the villain has a motive beyond just being bad.

Though starting the story off like that and then pulling the twist you mentioned might actually work out very well. Because it is certainly an interesting twist, and the contrast would definitely be greater if they were both 100% good/evil before that.

I still think it would be a good idea to add some relevant plot structure and some plot line staying consistent through the entire story, unless you want this to be a gag manga with fighting/story aspects rather than the other way around.

About they underlined part...

I HAVE NO CLUE YET.

As I might have said, my mind is a one way road. Right now it's down heading down Character Avenue.

.

[Koneko_Neko]

It'd be best if they have some way to get some difficulties, I don't know I feel your characters are way too OP, if its not an gag manga like Diez said, it'll be really hard to make it reach the targeted readers.

[retroluffy13]

i agree with koneko somewhat.  taking exact senarios and exact charecters on exact locations doing nothing difffrently then they normally do sounds... lazy  and boring.  to be blunt.  but still not completely out of the question if that's REALLY the way you want to take it.

 

the beauty of parody is that, legally speaking, its all totally legit as long as your making a statement about something.  even if its a simple statement like :this shit was awesome.  more people shpuld know about it.

 

so as long as your rewrites are "sending a message" as to your own thoughts and feelings towards the original, its all legit.

 

at least as far as storytelling goes.  as for original assets, sounds, shit like that.  all that shit is still technically owned by the person who made it/the huge coorperation who bought they're idea.

 

but you can still get away with it to an extent depending on HOW you use it.

Edited by retroluffy13, 01 October 2016 - 02:27 PM.

[darthblox]

Yeah, what I mean is like... well, here's an example:

 

  Frieza is about to kill Vegeta.

Vegeta: "This is a dream come true... to see you... be beaten by a Saiyan."

Vegeta laughs.

Frieza points his finger at Vegeta and fires a beam of light.

Vegeta braces himself, but the beam never reachs him - a giant floating hand stops it.

???: "Ah, come on. Why'd you have to save him? I would've loved to see his blood pool across the ground..."

???: "Shut up. You wanted to fight Frieza, didn't you?"

The camera show Benevolence and Apocalypse on a nearby cliff.

Benev: "Well, there you go. He's standing right there."

Apoc: "Kha ha ha! That's the mighty Frieza? This wasn't what I expected."

Frieza and the rest are shocked by the appearance of these two strange figures. Frieza quickly gains his composure.

Frieza: "Hmph. You think you can beat me?"

An earthen fist rises from the ground and strikes him, sending him flying backward into a wall. A cloud of dust rises.

Apoc: "Kha ha ha! Think I can beat you. I  KNOW I can beat you. Let's see if you can beat me. Kha ha ha!"

 

The fight ensues. That's what I mean. That first part with Vegeta is taken directly from the english translation of the DBZ anime.

[Baka-Dynasty]

Heh might be fun but feels like a lack of creativity in your part to simply have your character fight against other characters from diverse story.

You already have a good concept just work on it and make it original. But in the end it's your story so yeah

[retroluffy13]

Yeah, what I mean is like... well, here's an example:

 

  Frieza is about to kill Vegeta.

Vegeta: "This is a dream come true... to see you... be beaten by a Saiyan."

Vegeta laughs.

Frieza points his finger at Vegeta and fires a beam of light.

Vegeta braces himself, but the beam never reachs him - a giant floating hand stops it.

???: "Ah, come on. Why'd you have to save him? I would've loved to see his blood pool across the ground..."

???: "Shut up. You wanted to fight Frieza, didn't you?"

The camera show Benevolence and Apocalypse on a nearby cliff.

Benev: "Well, there you go. He's standing right there."

Apoc: "Kha ha ha! That's the mighty Frieza? This wasn't what I expected."

Frieza and the rest are shocked by the appearance of these two strange figures. Frieza quickly gains his composure.

Frieza: "Hmph. You think you can beat me?"

An earthen fist rises from the ground and strikes him, sending him flying backward into a wall. A cloud of dust rises.

Apoc: "Kha ha ha! Think I can beat you. I  KNOW I can beat you. Let's see if you can beat me. Kha ha ha!"

 

The fight ensues. That's what I mean. That first part with Vegeta is taken directly from the english translation of the DBZ anime.

yes it works because your two guys dialogue acts as commentary.  even though your not saying it outright, the dialogue expresses respect for what your taking from so it still counts.  plus your probably going to be drawing it all yourself so theres always that to consider, which only helps your taking from the source material.

[darthblox]

@Koneko_Neko @retroluffy13 @Morfeus @Grimmjagger @Baka-Dynasty @diezdragon 

 

I'm back.

 

So, minor detail:

 

I only have one idea for a name for this anime series (I found someone to animate it [possibly]).

 

How does Shadows of the Light sound?

If you have a better idea, please tell me.

 

Thanks for all your help earlier, by the way!

[Koneko_Neko]

It sounds rather great!

[retroluffy13]

yeah, a thusand times more creative than anything I culd come up with.  lol.