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Can't Fear Your Own World III (pages 370-375; translated) Aizen was the one who killed Kaname


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#1 Deathkingdome

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Posted 28 April 2019 - 08:52 AM

Thanks to  scheneizel on R/Bleach for translating the novel. 

Muken:-

In this prison, no colour is allowed to exist.

An infinite darkness stretches out in all directions atop a jet-black floor, allowing no light to penetrate through the multi-fold barrier.

This was a prison located deep underground. A hell for the blind; reserved for those who deserved death, but who could not be killed and were instead sealed for various reasons.

The unemotional voice of a man echoes in this prison where stillness is usually supposed to dominate.

"The flow....has changed a bit."

Aizen Sosuke.

The sinner who continues to spend a very long time in this absolute darkness with a rare amount of sentience, now confirms the disappearance of one soul.

Aizen, whose body was mostly restrained, sensed that the soul had vanished; the soul of the man with whom he shared a destined relationship; the man who was his confidant.

But Aizen did not let any emotions show on his face.

It revived within the depths of his consciousness-

The memory of a certain promise that he had exchanged with his confidant.

Past:-

"Is there something that you wish for, Kaname? I would like to extend my gratitude towards you for being my greatest loyalist. So if there is something that you want, just name it."

Within Aizen's mind, this memory arose.

He had asked his confidant Tosen Kaname this question a long time ago.

"By your leave... yes.... there is indeed something. Just one."

"Oh?"

Interested to know what kind of personal desire this man in front of him sought, Aizen waited curiously to hear those words-

However-

The words that tumbled out of Tosen's mouth were far from what one might consider a 'reward'.

"My wish is.... A precept against sin."

"...."

Encouraged by his listener's silence, Tosen pressed on.

"Should there come a time when I change... should there come a time when I begin to accept the world of the Shinigami... rather... should there come a time when this world without evolution begins to provide me with something like peace of mind... At that time, I would like you to erase my existence from this world... leaving behind no fragments."

The words sounded strange, so Aizen asked again, in order to confirm the other party's intention,

"Surely, Kaname... should there ever come a time when you need to halt your progress... the Shinigami lot will forgive you. However, I do not think you will accept that forgiveness, will you?"

"If there is one thing that is absolute, then it is you, Aizen-sama. But... You, who taught me what justice is, and you, who instructed me on how the world ought to operate, are also a part of the world that I detest."

"I see. So the root of the very justice that drives you, is a double-edged sword that can also destroy your justice at the same time."

Kakyo.

Yes, that was the name of the woman who was Kaname's best friend, recalled Aizen. Tosen continued to speak.

"If I were to accept the world of the Shinigami, then it will be a denial of my own justice. Should such a time ever come, what I will have done, will no longer be justice. It will just be murder."

Clenching his fists in remembrance of a cruel past, Tosen let his next words out with difficulty.

"That would mean... the defilement of Kakyo's death and her way of life. Since I am standing here, already betraying her wishes; going against my own justice would be equivalent to murdering her twice."

"But if she were alive today, would she have forgiven you?"

"...Yes. She would have. That's why, I want you to have mercy and make me disappear from this world before I degenerate into the non-existent goodness that she saw in this world."

"Mercy... you say?"

"If my justice turns out to be false, then I must never be forgiven! I want you to crush and destroy every last bit of my soul before my heart gets filled with false salvation. That's my one and only wish."

Tosen uttered a wish that was not in accordance with his justice, but according to his feelings.

Aizen, who respected Tosen's resolution, questioned him once again in order to see whether Tosen really grasped the depth and meaning behind his own desire. Anticipating the answer, Aizen asked,

".....If I stand atop the heavens and create a new world.... what will you do then?"

"That new world is a world where someone like me, who is forever trapped by vengeance, must never exist. Therefore, once you stand atop the heavens, Aizen-sama, I must commit suicide for the purpose of complete purification of that world."

"So then... whatever happens... I will inevitably end up losing my only confidant."

"....Forgive me. Please forget what I just said."

Tosen realized that Aizen, too, was trapped by emotions.

Aizen spoke to Tosen, who looked like he repented his choice of words,

"It's fine. Those were words that came out of your true heart."

"It is my immaturity that still makes me unable to cast off the justice that my friend Kakyo sang praises about."

"No, it's not. Knowing one's own weaknesses becomes the foundation for climbing to greater heights."

Aizen looked down at the incomplete Hogyoku held in his hands, and spoke softly; a fearless smile playing upon his lips.

"Sometimes, fear is also necessary for evolution."

And so, Aizen spoke to his close subordinate with absolute firmness. Approaching Tosen, Aizen made a promise to him.

"I swear to you, Kaname. Before you suffer from the forgiveness of the Shinigami, I will make sure to erase all traces of your existence."

The darkness of the Muken seemed to waver ever so slightly.

"Kaname.... the one who still follows the footsteps that you left behind, seems to be making interesting progress as he continues to walk down that path."

What Aizen embraced in his chest once the memories from the past swept away from him,

whether the fragments of memory roused his heart,

that was never meant to be understood by anyone-

The recollections from the past that seamlessly flowed by, seemed to merely melt away into the endless darkness.

"Even if, in the end, his corpse will be stepped across-"

"I still pleasurably look forward to the moment when his progress will irradiate my way."

{t/n: the part where Aizen senses the disappearance of a soul is meant to be taken metaphorically. Aizen had promised to remove Tosen's soul once he came close to finding peace. With Shuhei coming to terms with himself over Tosen's motives and with Tokinada's death, technically, if Tosen were alive, his soul would find peace. With both those events accomplished, Tosen's soul finally completely vanished from the world. Also, this segment tells us how close Aizen and Tosen were. The word 'confidant' is used repeatedly with respect to their relationship. And I found it very touching that Aizen chose to use the phrase 'fear is necessary for evolution' just after learning that Tosen would die once Aizen finally reached his goal. It's like the concept of fear finally crossed his mind once he heard Tosen's wish. And the last words in the Muken were meant to be Aizen's tribute to Shuhei. After this comes the long last chapter}


Edited by Deathkingdome, 28 April 2019 - 08:53 AM.

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#2 ArSoNiSt JoE

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Posted 28 April 2019 - 12:23 PM

Long time no see  :P  :D


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#3 Deathkingdome

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Posted 28 April 2019 - 12:25 PM

Hi Joe, i come to this forum very rarely. Nice seeing you :)


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