Last few posts;
It's true! He just now decided, "You know what? You two have suffered way too long, I think it's about time to finally put you both out of your misery."
It only took forever. Now he's finally sending those poor sods up to the Royal Realm where they'll get the pleasure of getting gutted by Bach.
In the end? The true hero here? Bach. For putting them out of their misery. Unless he doesn't. In which case, he's also an asshole.
Bach will reveal that Orihime and Sado are war powers, then proceed to beat them within an inch of their lives. Chud will Chud as usual, while Orihime weakly cries out, "K-Kurosaki-kun..." This will send Ichigo into DESPAIR and RAEG which will play right into Urahara's hand.
If you're going to be a Karma Houdini, might as well do it unrestrained.
I know I am kinda very late, but many thanks to everyone who helped with answer to my question
@PlasmaWolf in particular of course
Urahara never ceases to amaze me.