The biblical history of mankind revolves around a woman telling a man to eat an apple he knew was forbidden by God. - Hilarious post
If we don't leave right now I'm going to beat you all up forever! - Molly Hayes(Runaways)
I'm Batman - Spiderman(Runaways)
"That was your shoulder TORN from the socket- - Kraven
That was your STERNUM shattering. I studied anatomy too! - Spiderman" Kraven and Spider-Man(Grim Hunt Amazing Spider-Man issue 637)
"And no offense but if Wolverine is the voice of reason AGAINST violence... I would take that VERY seriously." - Ironman(Avengers issue 4)
"These units are part of a Hive Mind. If we could keep one of them intact - BEN!!
"Sorry, stretcho. My fists only got one setting: CLOBBERIN'!" - Mr. Fantastic and The Thing about giant octopus robots(Amazing Spider-Man issue 648) "Listen you probably just saved me from having "killed by tentacles in a kiddie pool" carved onto my tombstone. Let me give you some advice. There is an astonishing amount of powerful people in this world, and a lot of them are flat-out crazy. So... Trust me... you will ALWAYS be in over your head. Always. Unless you're Thor." - Spider-Man giving Spider-Girl advice(Amazing Spider-Man 648) "Girls! Can we not talk about my love life while I'm beating up gang bangers? Please?!" - Spider-Man to Black Cat and Norah Winter(Amazing Spider-Man 649) "War Machine: Ugh.. Wh-where the hell... Braddock: Relax, James. We're on Hala. In prison. Valkyrie: Your injuries are severe and you must not dislodge McCoy's sutures.War Machine: W-where's my war machine armor? Valkyrie: In the wreckage of the quintjet War Machine: Wrecked quintjet, trapped in prison, and you lost my armor? Braddock: And they plan to execute us. Soon. And The Phoenix is headed here. War Machine: Wow. I mean.... WOW. I really thought a suicide mission to fight the damned Phoenix Force was as bad as things could get. You all somehow managed to make things worse." - Secret Avengers 27 "Vision: While I'm confident I can counter this strange broadcast, it will only be in a limited area around me. Thor: Bah. Perhaps Mjolnir is the better solution. Beast: *Sigh* Yes, go beat the mind control out of the Kree population, Thor." - Secret Avengers 27"Rachel Summers: The T-Rex is a telepath!" Uncanny X-Men 456"Hawkeye: God help us.The Punisher: We don't need God, we need ammunition." - Marvel Universe vs. Wolverine 2"Blind Al: Why do you constantly call me when you can't find something? Do you simply enjoy making fun of the disabled or--Deadpool: Because Al, blind people can see what normal people can't, duh. Geez... watch a kung fu movie.Blind Al: I can't. I'm blind." - Thunderbolts Vol. 2 Issue 10
"It starts every passage with "And so it came to pass", and goes on to read as if someone is trying to pretend they can be the King George edition and failing at actually grasping the writing of it.
Also, there's this amazing moment where it says that the people who rebelled against God were "cursed with dark skin".
Really?
You're not even going to try and hide it?" - Ganderath
"Relinquisher: The only reason I'm staying up is because of you.
Petite Fleur: Go to bed.
Relinquisher: No, because you want me to stay up.
Petite Fleur: Say the words. Say you want this. Nothing happens till I hear you say it.
Relinquisher: I want this." - Skype 2013
Jace: Let me get this straight. You came here to apologize to me?
Clary: Of course I did.
Jace: Clary, you saved my life.
Clary: I stabbed you. With a massive sword. You caught on fire. - City Of Lost Souls
"Shut up. I can do this. I'm a ******* Superhero. I didn't condemn myself to burning in Hell for the rest of eternity for nothing, you hear me?" Sistah Spooky - Empowered Volume 5
Ninjette: So, how exactly do I end up dying?
Demongoat: I will not tell you that. But I will tell you this: as you would see it now and as you will see it, at the moment of your death, you will die well, Kozue.
Ninjette: Huh. Well, that's nice.
Demongoat: But long after you are dead, and this city is ashes and your species is extinct and this planet is a graveyard, and every star in its sky has gone dark, and all the universe beyond is lifeless and still I will carry your memory with me, perfect in every detail, into the next universe. - Empowered Volume 7
"Gentlemen, they say when you die you can't take it with you. Which begs the question: Exactly what am I gonna do with all these bullets?" - The Punisher (Secret Wars #1)
"Okay, so I'm not a good pickpocket, but when you think about it, bad guys are good pickpockets, so it's a win." - Gwen Stacy(Spider-Verse Vol 2 #1)
Sanctuary: Not Kara, you're only delaying the inevitable. Stop resisting and I'll make your demise easy and painless. Well, painless is a relative term. I can at least promise that I won't take any pleasure in your screams of agony. I'm not rude.
Supergirl: Trying to kill me over a miscalculation isn't rude?
Sanctuary: As these neural-scions will attest, I am the pinnacle of Kryptonian technology. I do not make miscalculations.
Supergirl: You're making one right now.
Sanctuary: Oh? And what is that?
Supergirl: *Punching neural-scion* That I'll ever go down without a fight.
Sanctuary: You mean the 99.87% probability that you'd try punching your way to a resolution? Yes, that's why I filled the neural-scions with a bonding agent. No offense, but you're really not much of a thinker.
Supergirl: Okay, now you're making me angry.
Sanctuary: That's disappointing. I'm trying to make you die.
-- Supergirl Vol. 6 #20