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"Lone" [wip]


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#1 samb

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Posted 29 March 2016 - 12:58 AM

Lone is a manga/comic that im making. My intention is to make something with great visuals and atmosphere.

Its a realistic scifi taking place in world after WW3. Im enjoying making tech designs and im mixing 3d with 2d overpaint because im bad at perspective.

Since nobody from my friends is into manga i wish to get some moral support here so i can feel appreciated.

Please critique, but i probably wont revise previous pages (probably) but will take note on future ones.

If you want to contribute i will be pleased, i would love to work with other artists, but tech design/shots(as in composition/camera angles)

are mine, i have a very particular picture in mind, but things like scenario, characters and actual characters art, environments, text boxes i would be happy to get help with.

 

There is not much yet, but page 3 and 4 are incoming. Due to how i chose to draw the process is meticulous and takes a lot of time.

I hope you enjoy!

Oh and im a fan of Berserk, it inspired me in the first place. My favorite anime of all times is Yukikaze.

I stream sometimes the process if you want subscribe at https://www.twitch.tv/broadleaf_sam

 

 

mSgRNjl.jpg

InHma2z.jpg


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#2 AlphaTakoyaki

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Posted 29 March 2016 - 02:21 AM

You draw well, the detail in the background scenes is really good. 


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 ~In honor of Sir Theodor Herzl. 

1860-1904. 


#3 azer_moli

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Posted 29 March 2016 - 12:54 PM

I think there's something wrong with your perspective. 

 

For exemple, in you first picture, the squares/windows don't give any idea of a volume, and even though you made them smaller, the lines are all parallels. That makes the whole thing look flat. 

 

With the second one, you have your floor too high in the corner. You should lower it down and also work on the perspective of the floor tiles. 

Same with the window, you did well for the main square, which fits the wall very well, but then you draw the thickness exactly the same all along; that makes your perspective fail. You should make it bigger towards the reader. 

You should also work on the colouring of the door, to have shades, because as it is, it's as if the door was made to be smaller than the doorframe. 

Finally, the position of the guy. Try to make it clearer, because it looks a bit confusing. 

 

Sorry if I seem like I'm nitpicking by the way. 


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#4 samb

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Posted 30 March 2016 - 09:50 AM

Thanks for replies guys, im not sure i will actually fix anything until i finish the tome, ill probably revise it afterwards.

finished this one

H2rGNzX.jpg

 

its just a beauty shot of one of the machines


Edited by samb, 30 March 2016 - 09:51 AM.


#5 azer_moli

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Posted 30 March 2016 - 02:59 PM

Now, the perspective is quite great. 

And I like the fact you used only black and white on your machine, it makes it look even more deadly, dangerous. 

 

Only, from this, it looks a bit unbalanced since three of its four legs appear to be on the same side. 

 

But good job!


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