Jump to content


Photo

[Voting] Poetry Contest #37


  • Please log in to reply
4 replies to this topic

Poll: Poetry Contest #37 (11 member(s) have cast votes)

Which is the best?

  1. mantisstalker - Dream Affliction (2 votes [18.18%] - View)

    Percentage of vote: 18.18%

  2. YoWid - [Untitled] (0 votes [0.00%])

    Percentage of vote: 0.00%

  3. Grimmjagger - Another Dream (0 votes [0.00%])

    Percentage of vote: 0.00%

  4. Rhyssa Fireheart - Endless (2 votes [18.18%] - View)

    Percentage of vote: 18.18%

  5. Strawhats - A Dream at Last (3 votes [27.27%] - View)

    Percentage of vote: 27.27%

  6. diezdragon - Everyday (2 votes [18.18%] - View)

    Percentage of vote: 18.18%

  7. Oben - Bargain (2 votes [18.18%] - View)

    Percentage of vote: 18.18%

Vote Guests cannot vote

#1 Oben

Oben

    Lacking Harmony

  • Blessed by Uglypuff
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 11,910 posts

User's Awards

         2   

Posted 05 March 2017 - 03:06 PM

Welcome to the voting for Poetry Contest #37!

The theme was "Dreams", as picked by Satoshi, the winner of round #36.

The poll should-be self-explanatory. Please vote objectively, and fair.
You are not allowed to vote for yourself.

Please also post your opinions/criticism in the thread.
Previous rounds and winners can be found pinned in the Contest Forum and the Discussion Thread.

Here are the entries for this round:
 
 

Spoiler Dream Affliction

 
 

Spoiler

 
 

Spoiler Another Dream

 
 

Spoiler Endless

 
 

Spoiler A Dream at Last

 
 

Spoiler Everyday

 
 

Spoiler Bargain

 
 
You have two weeks to vote, until the 19th of March.

#2 YoWid

YoWid

    N00b

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,716 posts
  • LocationUnknown Regions

User's Awards

     

Posted 07 March 2017 - 10:31 PM


Creatures of the gloom,
Spun from the unconscious,
Born to a cage of bone.

 

I imagined personas from the Persona game here huddling, albeit fettered by metaphorical shackles, if ferocious still.

 


In isolation they whisper,
Sickly words seeping through cracks,
Worming their way into the waking world.

 

I imagined Coraline kind of creatures looming ominously.

 


Some sour the minds of men,
Others tell of alien secrets,
Differing tactics aimed to impress.

 

I sensed double meanings here but don't know exactly what.

 


Everything wants to live,
These parasitic dreams are no different,
Some living for millennia within the infected.

 

They give off this vibes of perpetual affliction, not unlike that caused by specters from time immemorial; dreaded, intangible, present.

 

.

.

.

 


I dive before I wake from failures
Containing my anger and impatience toward my countless defeats
I grow deaf to miss the deflations sent to the judgements I fight
I want to change my history and records, I want to grow

 

I imagined that freefalling guy from L'arc~en~Ciel's Dive to Blue PV, only in a state of even greater distress.

 


Several Phantasma I had to keep, Is it just another dream?
I want to end those endless stares that pain my soul
From my childhood I was left without any direction toward my goals
Climbing to achieve happiness, Strive to heaven

 

The buildup of the inner conflict is real--from the soul-paining stares to the eventual ascent.

 


"X" is what I want, "X" is what I can aquire
Life is like monopoly, gamble to gain
I want to achieve "X" Before I open my eyes
I want to keep sleeping forever, crashing the edge that wake me up.

 

Typo aside, the message is clear, too clear, even. The last line of the verse complements (negates?) the vivid clarity of the previous three with vague imagery.

 


"To sleep, perchance to dream"
But what about daydreams, you ask?
I smile at your innocence
So young, so new, so fresh.

 

As a hierophant to a padawan, slightly patronizing, though in a not-quite-irritating way.

 


Daydreams are safe, I say
And ephemeral as the day
They make little sense
And instead catch you in their mesh

 

Wabi-sabi and all that.

 


Now close your eyes, little one
And sleep deep in innocence
For Lord Morpheus is near
To protect you from his elder sister.

 

So motherly. So calming. So beautiful. Nightmare tellers won't dare fuck this one up.

 

.

.

.

 


Sleep is full of nightly terrors
Mind so numb, the body tremors.
Lights flicker, too afraid to sleep
As the darkness starts to creep.

 

I imagined sleep paralysis, bed full of sweats.

 


Death is not the fear
But the path unclear
What is it that awaits
Dread or pearly gates?

 

The unknown is always the worst enemy.

 


No effects from caffeine
Douse myself in fluorine.
Into insanity I sink.
Strike a match, no time to think
Death comes to me steadfast
And with it a dream at last.

 

Unclear. Just a picture of a bluish-green-tinted swimming pool lit by underwater lamps at nighttime.

 


You were so beautiful that day,
When I hit on you at the cafe,
Laughing and giggling,
We immediately knew we were to be.

And until our wedding day,
Despite the hardships we faced,
We were always meant to be,
As God sent down beams from the sky,
to show us that we were meant to be.

And so we built a house,
A home, a life, a family,
We had a son, we lived in peace,
One day he moved so far away,
But we lived on in happiness,
Cause we were always meant to be.

We saw a world, we saw a life,
Saw every day together,
Hand in hand, we lived on
As meant to be.

And as I lie to die you are the last I'll see,
But that is fine because that was always meant to be,
And I walk on and leave you there,
Waving me into my dreams,
Just as it was always meant to be.

As I have always meant for it to be.
If only I had mustered the courage,
That day at the cafe.

 

Inception reference? At any rate, smooth flow of thoughts, sentimental but not too sappy, nice twist ending (?), somewhat nostalgia-evoking.

 

.

.

.

 


I feel a certain wariness -
A distant feeling, varied, less
Of what I used to feel before,
No power left, a man ignored.

My third eye has gone colorblind,
My mind is deaf of dolour, twined
Around the fibers of my dreams
Is conciousness in nested streams.

I've been lost in wondering
My failure keeps to ponder, sting
The shattered fragments of my soul -
My hope collpased into a hole.

Nonetheless, my pain did vanish,
The memories I wished to banish
Are gone by culling my emotions twice -
I cannot tell if that was wise.

 

Shell of former self. Disillusionment. Decision that I would regret later but not now. I can strongly relate to this poem. My second most favorite entry. 

 

.

.

.

 

I chose Rhyssa's.


 

Mine tried too hard to be a reboot of Zhuangzi's famous poem. I'm not proud of its pretentious intent, slightly fond of the imagery of the end product nonetheless.


 


poem

 

Fable, not poem. My bad.


Spoiler Music by Gazillions

 

 

another story for another day

 


#3 azer_moli

azer_moli

    Member

  • Moderators
  • 3,210 posts
  • LocationFrance

User's Awards

2         

Posted 18 March 2017 - 10:04 AM

Those were pretty amazing poems!

That's actually the first time I really like all of them. 

 

You're awesome, guys!



#4 ZCOverload

ZCOverload

    Veneer

  • Blessed by Uglypuff
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 12,410 posts
  • LocationSunset Vista

User's Awards

3       2    4   

Posted 18 March 2017 - 09:15 PM

I feel it. These are all interesting takes on the theme.


  • kikyou_e likes this

I'll clear this with no continues!

wlpOFuA.gif


#5 Oben

Oben

    Lacking Harmony

  • Blessed by Uglypuff
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 11,910 posts

User's Awards

         2   

Posted 02 April 2017 - 01:37 PM

With a miniscule delay (sorry) I hereby close the Poetry Contest! The winner is Strawhats!

 

The next round will open once he picks the next theme.


Edited by Oben, 02 April 2017 - 01:37 PM.





0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users